Unkept Promises

A chance

Abhiram's POV

"Yes Dev.."

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"Yes, I understand."

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"Haa mere baap." (Yes, dad - meant sarcastically here)

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"Alright, meet me tomorrow in my office."

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"No, Aaru won't be there. Tomorrow Avi's taking him with her."

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"Bye. Take care."

This man, as much as I love him, he annoys the f*ck out of me sometimes. I was preparing some warm turmeric milk for the two of us while she was sat in the balcony. We had tucked in Aaru and he must be fast asleep by now. After having dinner, I asked Avi if we could speak for some time and to my surprise, she nodded without any hesitation.

Since after mummy and pappa's visit last week, I had seen some minor changes in her demeanour. No, she had not forgiven me, not like I deserve to be forgiven, but it seemed that she did not seem reluctant towards whatever tiny efforts I had been making.

Unknown to her, I had seen her beautiful smile grazing her face when she had read my note which I had stuck alongside those grilled cheese sandwiches. And I was determined now, to make her smile the same way, always, in my presence too. That very smile which I had destroyed myself.

Ever since that time, I had started leaving tiny notes here and there in the home. Some just to thank her for being there, the others complimenting her, and a few others reminiscing the wonderful moments and some quirky anecdotes in our life. And much to my satisfaction and luck, I must say, I saw her soft smile each time, and a brilliant wide smile, if I was lucky.

All in all, this did not even count as efforts, but anything to make her smile. Which is why, for a more concrete step towards mending our relationship, I had decided to broach the topic of visiting a couples' counsellor. I do not know what her response would be, if she would be angered, or if she would even consider, but whatever it was, I would take it all. The most important thing was going as per her pace.

Avi and I often discuss some interesting cases in her firm - most of the times her criminal cases, but a few other times, she also narrates me some interesting stories of civil or corporate cases handled by the respective lawyers. Whenever she would speak of couples' counselling when it came to divorce cases, especially for those couple who still had hope, I would question her the need for doing so. I always felt that whatever disputes were there could be resolved within with effective communication.

How wrong was I. Now look at me, standing in front of my wife, hoping she would agree to come with me for couples' counselling. As much as internal communication was effective, sometimes, external stimuli do work wonder. I had been quite late in understanding this, but at least I still had the opportunity to salvage this relationship. Not many are that lucky.

"Here", I forwarded the glass full of warm milk to Avi who was sat in the bean bag staring at something faraway, or perhaps, just staring into the distance - I could not really make that out in the faded lights in the balcony.

As if her reverie had been broken, she flinched slightly and shaking her head, turned her head towards me, staring into my eyes. The silvery white of the moon had lent the slightest of its warm grey to my Avi's face, and I could feel that very grey warmth radiating through her persona too.

Sometimes I really wonder what this wonderful, wonderful woman was made of. I had hurt her, hurt her love, our love, our trust, our relationship, and yet she stayed, she persisted. Yet, she stays kind to me and to all those who have wronged her. How fortunate am I to have her in my life and how unfortunate I had been those six months to simply pain her the way she never deserved. Perhaps, she might even forgive me one day, but the regret of what I had done to her will continue to pain me all my life. Perhaps, she would forgive me one day, but I do not know if I shall have it in myself to forgive my own unforgivable self.