Insecurities and Assurances

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Avantika's POV


"Abhiram, I heard what you had to say, and what had to be said by you. And I won't deny the fact that you truly regret what you have done. I have been your wife all these years, and I understand you pretty well. Yours seeking my forgiveness is genuine, I can see that in your eyes, in your demeanour.", I stated after he had calmed down following his most recent words.

I meant what I said, but I too needed to clarify a few things. He had put forth his thoughts in front of me, and it was time that I do the same. I had to put forth those insecurities which had been perturbing my mind ever since the last session.

His eyes were hopeful hearing my words.

"Abhiram, when I had decided to give you a chance, a chance to earn my forgiveness, to mend what you have broken, it was because of multiple reasons. One, I saw you sincerely regretting for what you have done, owning up to your mistakes, and wanting to and striving to correct those. Two, because I know you, I know the person that you have always been, and I took a chance upon that - solely on the basis of who I knew you to be. Three, of course Aaru is one of the reasons - the both of us wanting, no, needing Aaru to have a stable home and a stable family with all the happiness he deserves."

He nodded at my words, "I understand, my love."

I took a deep breath before continuing, multiple memories swirling around in my thoughts.

"I am sure you understand this. What you don't understand now is the way I have felt ever since I heard the reason behind your behaviour the last session.", my voice turned firm towards the end, or more like I feel, I had subconsciously steeled it for what I was about to say.

His eyebrows furrowed, either out of confusion or out of the need to know what I had to say. Mostly, it was the latter.

"Abhiram, you love me, and have always claimed to love me, right?"

He shook his head, "I don't claim to love you my Avi, I do love you, so much. And despite of my actions in that period being seemingly opposite of what I feel for you, I have always loved you Avi."

His words were earnest, but so were my insecurities.

"I do not mean to be bitter here, but the thing is I cannot forget a few things, a few bitter memories, and every instance I walk down that memory path, they prickle me, harshly."

"Please do not hold back at all Avi. Let it all out.", he placed his palm over my hand.

"Abhiram, that day when we learnt about the reason behind your behaviour, it was evident from the doctor's words that seeing that glimpse of your old Kinjal in her that day, you reacted the way you did. And then the 'elder brother of Kinjal' saga continued for a whole of six months."

"Now tell me - is this how its going to be? You saw a glimpse of what you had lost years ago, and you gave in to the emotional part of your mind which had yearned for your sister for so long. While, I can comprehend your sentiments or what must have gone through your mind, up to a certain extent, I cannot fathom how you did not think it was necessary to cater to the person you love, at least once.", my voice was stern.

He began shaking his head, and I had an inkling of what he was about to say.

"No, do not say anything."

"Let me complete. I know what you would be stating again. About a part of your mind, or your logical thinking knowing about my innocence or believing in what I was saying, but the fact still remains the same. You did not give in to your logical thoughts. Honestly, Abhiram, any normal person would first listen to both the sides of the situation before coming to a conclusion. While I understand that your logic was utterly vanquished by the surge in your emotions for Kinjal after such a long time, and that you were constantly being manipulated by her for those six months, at least once Abhiram, at least once could you have not given in to a bit of sensibility?"

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