I Became The Stepmother of My Ex-husband

Extra 4: Cannot Get What One Ask For

His kindness to Gao Ran was a kind of deliberate kindness. He was like a clown on the stage, he pampered his wife, and accompanied his wife for a chat or a walk according to the arrangement of the playbook. But when he did all this, his heart was calm without any ripples, and no longer tried find the happiness, anger, sorrow and joy like when he married Gao Xi. His anxiety and excitement as he waited for the wedding, the nervousness when he lifted Gao Xi's veil, and all his enthusiasm for marriage had been exhausted at the end of his first marriage.

Although he could not ignite the enthusiasm for Gao Ran, he always told himself that Gao Ran's heart was kind and pure. She saved people in the moonlit night and stand aloof from worldly affairs, so it was his blessing to have Gao Ran as a companion for the rest of his life. But when Gao Ran and Yun Hui rushed to beat each other that day, Gu Cheng Yao stood at one side and couldn't even react.

In his mind, the gentle and virtuous older sister, the kind and indisputable wife, would actually do such a shrew-like thing. Later, Lin Wei Xi put the yin yang pot in front of him and told him that Gao Ran had planned to kill Yun Hui with this pot of wine.

When impressions turned from good to bad, the consequences were far more serious than always bad. If originally he didn't like a person, even if that person done a heinous thing, he would just say "oh". But if a person who had always have a good image suddenly burst into a scandal, the backlash in people's heart could swallow them alive.

Gu Cheng Yao's evaluation of Gao Ran plummeted because of this, and he also doubted Gao Ran's previous words.

When Gao Ran was alone with him, she always faintly discredited Gao Xi. Although she always said that Gao Xi's status was high, and the brothers and sisters in the family respect the eldest sister very much, but Gao Ran's words meant that everything about Gao Xi was just because of her identity. She, Gao Ran, was the one that everyone really loves.

Some matters, the person involved were always the one that confused, Gu Cheng Yao could easily hear, Gao Ran very much cared about Gao Xi. She kept saying that she was free and at ease, but Gu Cheng Yao, as a bystander, knew that Gao Ran should felt very inferior to Gao Xi. Not only her, the other member of Gao family talked about the eldest sister Gao Xi with awe, not dare to rushed, even more in front of this eldest sister not dare laughing freely.

Gao Xi thought her temperament was unpleasant, actually it was not. Love revealed a man's male instinct. Gao Xi was well-versed in all Four Arts, excellent in poetry, and her identity was also unapproachable. Her aura would unmasked the true image of most men. Even if many cousins ​​admired in their hearts, they unlikely had any thoughts about Gao Xi, they more likely wanted to find a woman who was not as good as them and could satisfy their male self-esteem.

Father was right, Gao Xi, or Lin Wei Xi had a high spirit and strong ability. If it's not a powerful man, he would not be able to subdue her.

Perhaps because he was afraid that people would not believe it, later father really practiced this sentence himself.

The more Gu Cheng Yao wavered, the more he could hear Gao Xi's news from all directions and corners. For example, Duke Yingguo Shizi actually felt guilty towards his di daughter. For example, even if Duke Yingguo old madam liked Gao Ran because of her strong desire for control, but subconsciously her evaluation of Gao Xi was the highest. For another example, Gao Xi did not bully others or snatched Gao Ran's marriage, and Gao Ran was not a weak and harmless little white flower.

Gu Cheng Yao finally understood his heart. He had always loved Gao Xi, but when he was young he didn't know how to cherish it, he had already lost her. When she appeared before him again, the person she depend on, trusted, and admired had changed from him to his father.

The maid beside her, Wan Yue, thought that he had some bad intentions, because he was overwhelmed by Lin Wei Xi's outstanding beauty and could not extricate himself, but Gu Cheng Yao always knew that he loved Gao Xi. When he looked at Lin Wei Xi's charming face, he also thought of Gao Xi's face.

The Buddha said that there are seven sufferings in the world, birth, old age, sickness, death, resentment, separated from the loves one, and not able to get what one asked for.

Perhaps, could add one more suffering, able to get it but lost it.

He knew clearly that he had lost Gao Xi forever, that she had married his father, and that when she looked at his father, there was obvious adoration and happiness in her eyes. During the few years when Yan Wang and Lin Wei Xi were still in the capital, he felt pain every time he saw Lin Wei Xi, like his heart has been cut, trembling pain to the bone marrow. But he couldn't control himself from seeing her, so that one pain was not over, and yet he went to see Lin Wei Xi again, and was bloodied again by the interaction between her and his father.

He knew that he was sinking deeper and deeper on a road of no return. Such thoughts were not only against the norm, but would also consigned her to eternal damnation. He couldn't face his father's gaze. When Rui Yang was born, when his father looked at him with a deep gaze, Gu Cheng Yao almost knelt down to beg for forgiveness.

How could he have such thoughts, but how could he not have such thoughts.

Of course because of her.

Later, when the whole Yan Wang Mansion returned to the country, he stayed alone in the capital. Political reasons accounted for only one reason. But more than that because he could not face Lin Wei Xi, let alone face his father.

Probably after he made such a decision, his father was also relieved.

In recent years, the capital had been turbulent. He has experienced many thrilling moments. Political training had allowed him to grow rapidly, but it was precisely because of his maturity that he knew what he missed. People always understand the value of barriers only after they met and smashed their head. He was so, and the little emperor was also so. How vigorous the emperor when he settling accounts of Zhang Xiao Lian, but after First Assistant Zhang completely collapsed, the emperor was forced with nowhere to go by the deformed group of court officials he previously indulged. Managing a country had never been easy, only after he was severely beaten with two hammers that he finally understand First Assistant Zhang's toughness. Back then, he was ambitious to be like Emperor Qin and Han Wu, but now he had become passive and evasive, ignoring government affairs.

Every time he retreats from a dangerous situation, his desire to talk was particularly strong. He wanted to share his thrills and tensions with his wife, and later when she worried, he would lightly say "It's actually nothing." But looking back around, where is his wife?

On the Dragon Boat Festival in Yuanjia's fifth year, he and Lin Wei Xi took shelter from the rain in the water pavilion. The sky was dark and there was no light in the room, only the rain reflected on her face. At the sound of rain, Lin Wei Xi's outline was vague, but her black hair, snow-colored skin, and red lips became more vivid. Gu Cheng Yao almost thought he was looking at a painting. Her voice was accompanied by the vastness of rushing rain from the sky, fresh and mocking, but mysteriously carried a prophetic rhythm in it. She said: "You always take it for granted. When you made this decision, did you talk to her frankly? Did you really know the truth? Sooner or later, you will pay for your idealization."

What did he say at that time? He just shook his head amused and helplessly, his tone could not hide his carelessness: "Then I wish Miss Lin all the best."

A prophecy.

He really paid the price for his self-righteousness, and he paid for the rest of his life.

Birth, old age, sickness, death, resentment, separated from the loves one, not able to get what ones asked for, able to get it but lost it.

He knew that she would live a very good life, with both children and husband-to dote on her. He also often heard from Yan land's people the news about Wangfei and Junzhu, his father really cherished her, and she and Rui Yang were also happy and peaceful.

But after all, these things have nothing to do with him.

He couldn't get what he asked for, his had lost it.