Blood Relatives

4. Just So Tired

Carmine woke up in a cold sweat for the third time that week.

The clock across the room said 4:32. Carmine knew she was going to be tired when school came around, but she didn't dare go back to sleep. How could she, with dream still running through her mind? She knew she'd go right back to having that nightmare as soon as she closed her eyes. So instead, she just lay in bed with the light on, wondering how long it would be until she could finally get a decent night's sleep.

Carmine thought about texting Anna again. She knew Anna almost never slept, and since she lived alone, there was no danger of waking anyone else up or getting her in trouble. Carmine walked quickly across the room to her dresser, grabbed her phone, and jumped back under the covers. She scrolled through her numbers until she found Anna's – the third one down. She typed out a message, then lay there for several minutes, finger hovering over the send button. But she didn't press it. Finally, she sighed and exited out of her contact list.

As much as Carmine really wanted to talk to someone, she just couldn't bring herself to do it. She'd worked so hard to convince her friends that everything was all right – that sneaking out in the middle of the night to hunt monsters didn't bother her. She knew her friends had been really impressed with her – that she, a human, was willing to do these kinds of things. And to be honest, it was a source of pride for Carmine too.

But if she called Anna now, admitting how scared she was, all of that would be over. As much as Carmine hated to admit it, the idea of being left out of their adventures was even worse than the idea of going on them.

Carmine might not have wanted to call her friend in the middle of the night, but that didn't stop her from talking to Anna in first period the next day. She wouldn't have to tell Anna about her childish nightmares – just feel her out. Maybe all the stuff they'd been through bothered Anna just as much as it did Carmine. Now all she had to do was figure out a subtle way to ask her friend. Carmine grimaced inside; subtlety was never one of her strong points.

She tried to put on a smile as she sat down next to Anna, but she knew it wasn't very convincing.

"Are you ok?" Anna asked, a look of concern on her face. So much for bringing it up casually, Carmine thought to herself.

"Yeah. I just haven't been getting much sleep lately." Carmine admitted. She just hopped Anna wouldn't ask the reason.

"I'm sorry." Anna told her.

"I keep thinking about the Dullahan." Carmine tried to make it sound like a change in topic, not the reason she wasn't able to sleep.

"It's really bothering you, isn't it?" Anna asked, biting her lip.

"I just keep thinking about what a close call it was. Maybe it doesn't bother you as much because you're a...you know..." Carmine didn't say the word vampire out loud, but Anna's eyes widened nevertheless. Carmine kept right on talking.

"I can't help feeling like I'm potentially in danger all the time." She hesitated a second before adding, "...High school's just been a little more intense than I thought it'd be, you know?"

"I know." Anna sighed, and Carmine could tell she was remembering all the problems they'd had the past two years. "I'd been hoping for a much more normal experience myself...I know it's been a lot to ask of you. And I don't like how we keep putting you in these situations."

"It's not that." Carmine started. She could see Anna was already reevaluating whether or not Carmine could handle any more, and that was the last thing Carmine wanted. What if something else did happen? Would Anna and Mia let the boys come and just leave Carmine waiting at home? How could she be left out of something so important?