Blood Relatives

39. I'm Better Now

Carmine didn't get a minute's sleep that night. She got dressed around five o'clock out of boredom and was at school twenty minutes early. She sat down next to Anna in math.

"Did you sleep at all last night?" she asked, wondering if her friend had been feeling as guilty as she was. Anna shook her head.

"I just kept thinking about last night." Anna said, looking worried. "I can't believe I did that to Conner."

"Same here." Carmine said. "Lunch is going to be super awkward."

She knew she could probably ignore Zev in English – she'd just pretend to take great notes for once. But it wasn't going to be that easy during lunch.

She was right; it was hard to even look at any of the boys, let alone have an actual conversation. Carmine could only imagine what was going through their heads. She found herself thinking yet again how she wished her friends had never turned her. At least then her attempts to hurt Zev last night wouldn't seem quite so horrible.

The boys had walked to the table as a group. Must have met up before this, Carmine figured. As they walked over, Carmine turned away. But not before she saw the huge bruise on Luke's neck from where Mia had attacked him.

Carmine stared intently at the table. Someone had carved Mark loves Beth into the paint years before, and Carmine traced the knife scratches over and over with her eyes. No one spoke. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw that everyone else was carefully looking away too. Finally, Luke cleared his throat.

"Look," he said to no one in particular. "Last night didn't exactly go according to plan."

No one disagreed; silence still enveloped the group.

"Alright, it was the worst thing I've ever seen." he admitted finally. "And it's really obvious that we have some problems with our group." He seemed to be staring at Mia, but Carmine couldn't be sure. After all, like everyone else, she was doing her best to be occupied by the scenery. "So Mia, can I talk to you for a second?"

Mia looked up from whatever she'd been staring at.

"...I guess." she said after a minute. She looked like what she really wanted to say was no.

"Good." Luke gave a short nod. "And Zev, why don't you talk with Carmine?"

"Mm-hmm." Zev said flatly.

Carmine gulped. This was something she'd been dreading for a long time. Who knew how a solo meeting with Zev would go? She hadn't actually talked to him one-on-one since that time she tried to blackmail him in the woods, and she'd been kind of planning on keeping it that way. And after everything that happened last night, the thought of talking to him just seemed even worse.

"Fine." Carmine said grudgingly. How could she refuse? If she said no, it would be even more obvious that they each had something to hide.

Luke and Mia got up from the table, moving farther down the courtyard. Carmine slowly rose, following Zev in the opposite direction. They went until they were far enough away that no one could hear them. Still, neither of them spoke. Carmine didn't know exactly what to say. Besides, it was Zev's best friend that wanted them to talk. Didn't that mean Zev had to go first?

"So..." Zev said after a few minutes of awkward silence.

"Yeah." Carmine answered when he didn't continue. So far, Luke's plan was going just great.

"I guess we need to figure out why you hate me so much." Zev said finally.

"Why I hate you?" Carmine almost couldn't believe he'd said that.