Blood Relatives

27. Can't Call It Quits

Carmine stormed off towards the library. She wanted to give Adam the impression that she was mad, but truth be told, she was scared. If he wasn't just going to back off, what was she supposed to do? Carmine really needed some time to think. She just wanted to be alone somewhere she could gather her thoughts and calm down a little before she had to explain to her friends how impossible this was going to be.

Besides, after that little talk with Adam about how he thought it was ok to kill people, Carmine really didn't want to have to go back to a lunch table with Luke and Zev at it. She thought it would be too good an opening for either of them to ask about how she herself was doing. Or about how she could care if he killed people and not be worried about what she might do. And none of that was something she was really prepared to discuss at the moment. Even on her best days, she wouldn't want to have to explain those kinds of things. And today was definitely not her best day.

She decided it'd be best to head to the library. At least there she might actually be able to forget about all her problems for a bit - pretend her life was the way it used to be. Back before she knew any of this was real. Of course as luck would have it, Anna met up with her before she reached the library doors.

"What did Adam say?" Anna asked. There was a note of urgency in her voice.

"I can't do this anymore." Carmine told Anna. It wasn't what she meant to say - it just sort of came out. But it was true.

"Can't do what?" Anna asked blankly.

"Any of this. Things are only getting worse. And there's nothing we can do about it."

"What did Adam say?" Anna asked gently.

"He's not going to stop. And he's going after as many people as he can."

"Then we can't just let him." Anna told her firmly. "Why don't you come back and have lunch with everybody?"

"I don't need lunch." Carmine said dully. Really, it was more of a subtle hint that she didn't want to go than a reminder to Anna.

"I know." Anna told her, not understanding. "But you don't have to actually eat anything. Just sit with everybody. It'll take your mind off it for a bit."

"No it won't." Carmine said matter-of-factly. Adam was sitting in the courtyard in plain view of the table Carmine had grabbed earlier. She knew full well that she'd spend the entire period staring menacingly at him. And of course watching as Sharon sat there with him, giggling, looking so happy. Carmine didn't think she'd be able to stand it. And even if she did go back to the table with Anna, how was she supposed to distract herself? By talking to Conner and his friends? After the way they'd been acting lately, Carmine might actually be better off sitting with Adam. She shuddered.

"Actually, what I really want to do is read. And it might finally make me feel like I'm doing something about all this." Carmine was amazed at how convincing it sounded, even to her.

Anna nodded. "See what you can find out. I'll write down all I can remember from when I was growing up."

Carmine walked into the library and made her way straight for the mythology section hidden in the back corner. When she was younger, she used to come here for the solitude as much as the actual information. She pulled a bunch of seemingly random books off the shelves, barely glancing at the covers. She'd already read each one of these books at least four times. She smiled wistfully - the first time had been as a hobby. The second time, too. She never thought she'd use these books for actual research. How had that happened?

She spent the entire period reading and still came up with nothing. Most of the books didn't have anything on incubi - or even succubi - at all. And the few that did Carmine tossed out as being useless. She checked each one of them for any information they might have on night demons, especially ones that attack through dreams. Only a few even had anything on dream demons at all, and most of those books only had a few sentences.