Even though I may have backed off on dating Esme because I thought it was adding undue stress to her life, I began asking her to do things as a family. I wanted our children to have memories, good memories, of us doing things together. Whether or not Esme ever decided to give me another chance, we were building a new type of relationship based on friendship. We were talking, learning about each other in a new way, relating simply as two people, not two young people dealing with an unexpected pregnancy and getting married because the guy was a stupid asshole impressed with himself for doing the right thing.
The first time I brought it up, someone at the office had offered me three tickets to Monster Jam that they couldn't use, so I bought them from him and, after some debating with myself as to the wisdom of what I was about to do, I called Esme.
"Jude's about to become the happiest little boy in the world," I began as soon as she answered.
"Really? Did you somehow adopt a real, live Tyrannosaurus Rex? If so, I hope you plan on keeping it at your place since my apartment building has a forty-pound weight restriction on animals."
"Not quite that good," I laughed, "but almost. Jarret in sales had three extra tickets to Monster Jam this Friday and he offered them to me."
"Awww! Jude is going to absolutely freak," she enthused, as happy for our little boy as I was.
He'd been begging for the last two weeks to go, hearing about it from his classmates and getting swept up into the hype, but by the time we'd tried to get tickets, they were sold out. Esme and I had no idea the event was so popular or we would have jumped on it earlier.
"Would you like to go with us? I figured you might want to watch him enjoy the show, too."
There was a slight hesitation at my suggestion. "You know what? Yeah. I really want to see him all wide eyed and excited when the trucks run over things. I can just hear his laugh."
"Great. Since you have them that night, I'll see if mom can watch Liora and I'll pick you and Jude up when I drop mom off at your place."
"That sounds good, but I just want to clarify...this isn't a date." She paused to see if I objected, then continued. "You know I'm actively dating, right?"
"I'm aware of that, Esme."
Hated it, but when you threw your entire life away by betraying your wife with another woman, what the fuck could you expect?
"How's that going for you?" Please don't say you met the man of your dreams and are getting engaged next week.
"Well, it started out pretty crappy." I could hear the irritation in her voice. "Two different girls in two of my study groups each set me up and the guys were complete assholes. Really huge assholes."
"Did they hurt you?" I didn't think they had or I would have heard about that, but my heart stopped before it started beating again in anticipatory rage.
"No, they weren't those kinds of assholes. Just...attitudinal, I guess. Like I'd be easy because I already had two children at my age. So I was venting to your mom about it, really discouraged, and asked if she knew any nice guys. About a week later, she gave me some names. Her friends' sons, a couple guys at her church."
The rotation. Fuck.
"They were nice and all, but no real spark."
What could I say to that? Lie and tell her I was sorry?
"But then the new semester started, and I had some study groups with some new guys. A couple have real promise. So, how about you? Dating?"
"No."
ŞİMDİ OKUDUĞUN
Tanner and Esme
RomantizmEsme Things can become clear in a second. When I found Tanner in his office with that woman, so many things became obvious. Tanner's always held himself back from me, but now, secrets and lies come tumbling out into the light. He's never loved me an...
