Tanner and Esme

Chapter 31 (Tanner): Her Smile Was Bright

I lay awake until about five in the morning, reliving my date with Esme, a stupid smile on my face. Every last detail replayed vividly in front of my eyes. How beautiful she'd looked, the way her smile settled on me when she opened the door, her delicate scent, our arms brushing together as we walked to my car, the flash of her legs as she settled in the passenger seat. I thought of her face studying the menu, her lip caught between her teeth as she debated the entrees, the way she savored each bite of food that made my dick twitch, the way she took a bite from my fork with no hesitation when I offered it to her that seemed like a victory -- and it was all I could do not to jump on the table and beat my chest and let everyone in the restaurant know I was staking my claim on this woman. 

The conversation had flowed so easily, and I asked Esme question after question about things I'd realized that first year after our divorce that I'd never asked her about and wanted to know. They were serious questions about growing up with just her mom, the dreams she'd had about school, why she wanted to become a programmer, things like that. I knew at a high level about all of these aspects of her life, but I was going deeper now, getting the details and the whys. It was a night of discoveries, and I loved uncovering all of this new information about my wife. Well, obviously Esme wasn't my wife, but in my mind, she still was. And I had hope that someday she would be again. I was fucking clinging to that hope like a drowning man to a life raft.

I thought about that kiss at the end of the night that had burned so hot between us, the way it always had but now seemed different. After dissecting every second of it repeatedly, I was finally able to pinpoint the difference. This time, I recognized the treasure I held in my arms. This time, I knew how fortunate I was to have a woman like Esme returning my kiss. This time, I knew, without a doubt, that I loved her and I was with her not because I'd so fucking heroically done the right thing but because there was no one I wanted in my arms more than Ez.

My phone ringing woke me up about an hour after I'd finally fallen asleep.

Mom.

Answering, I rubbed my hand over my eyes. "Mom." I cleared my throat. "Are Jude and Liora OK?"

"Oh, yes," she said, way too cheerily for -- I peered at my alarm clock -- six fucking ten in the morning. "Jude got us up about fifteen minutes ago and Liora woke right after, so we're starting breakfast. Your boy wanted pancakes, so your father's whipping up the batter right now, and I'm searching for the chocolate chips; fortunately, I just bought a new bag so I know they're here, but I think they must be hidden behind something. We have the whipped cream out, ready to make faces on the pancakes, so I thought I'd just call and see how the date went."

She finally took a breath, but then she gasped in dismay that I could see right through. "Oh, I didn't even think, Tanner. Are you alone? I didn't interrupt anything, did I? I can call back; you just continue on with --"

"Mom," I rasped, my voice always rough in the morning when I first woke up. I flopped back onto my pillows, throwing my arm over my eyes. "I'm alone. Esme's not here." 

Unfortunately. And my mom didn't fool me one bit with her wanting to see how the date went excuse. She was on a fact-finding mission to see if I'd spent the night with Ez.

"Well, I'm glad your date went well! Come on over if you want some pancakes! I just found the bag of chocolate chips, so we're good to go. Love you, Tanner."

Now that she had the critical information she wanted, she could interrogate me later at her leisure about the actual date, so she ended the call before I could say anything back.

I fell back to sleep for a couple of hours and when I woke up, I shot off a few texts to Ez since it'd been way too long since I'd talked with her.

I had the best time last night. Thank you for the incredible date.