ʙᴀᴅᴍᴀɴ ᴀ ᴍɪ ᴛʏᴘᴇ

Truth

Zyairie POV
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I'm currently in the office waiting on melia and her coworkers to update me on lamaya conditions.

What happened I'm still lost. What did melia mean by 'you don't know?'. Know what? Why do everybody keep saying that

What's happening to Lamaya that I don't know about?

In the back of my mind I really don't want to know what it is that everybody keeps hinting at. Will it break me?

Will I do something I'm going to regret? Yes definitely

Because what could be so important that is happening around me that involves lamaya; so serious for people to continue give me a sense of urgency to know

Deep down mi deven wah busniz bout har but mi just cya dweet. Mi love di girl wid mi heart bro and mi just find it hard to leave

Her alone

I know that she's selfish and thoughtless but I just can't get enough of her; not once have I experienced this with anyone else so I'm not sure if it's actually true love or just a strong attachment

I'm trying

Well was. I don't think I can try anymore all this is just tiring the arguing, victim blaming and the same old accusations

Who am I to fix something that is one sided maybe just maybe I should've left her alone from the jump

The first argument

The first time she left me wondering if a person that claims to love another so much could leave in the blink of an eye just because they can

What was I thinking to stay?

No I can't think like this. She's literally in a room unconscious probably with a serious illness or something deadly and I'm overthinking about the wrong things

Well not wrong but not necessarily right either; at the moment

She's gonna be alright

Right?

I close my eyes ready to pray but my mind is blank my mouth can't form words and I just feel broken

A tear roll down my face as I breakdown a little. This hurts so bad is this really the end? God please don't let it end

My face is soaked with tears as I cry onto the lord for guidance, strength, peace and comfort. I hope he knows that my heart is leaking out emotions I can't express

Opening my eyes I looked up hoping that he sees my tears and hears my cry for help. Taking my hand kerchief I wipe my face

"Be strong ute," my subconscious says

Mah try

I really am trying and I think it's not good enough no matter what I always end up back at square one.

Broken

Hurt

Tired

Feeling less of myself

Nobody has ever made me doubt myself as a person. But Lamaya takes my heart and does whatever she wants knowing I'll forgive her and always wait for her to come back to me

She uses my heart to walk

I'm hurting and I can admit that it's really taking a toll on my mental health

I'm slowly falling apart and she doesn't even care

Careless that's what I am for letting this reach here