ʙᴀᴅᴍᴀɴ ᴀ ᴍɪ ᴛʏᴘᴇ

Try

Lamaya POV
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••Two week after••

Looking out in the distance as the waves crush onto the shore I think about my life and everything that has been happening

I've been through a whole lot and I'm only 25 to say that I've overcome each obstacle without struggling or feeling like I'm drowning would be lying at the max

All I want is to finally be at peace without feeling like I'm losing my mind or that I have to fix everybody's problems and then cater to mines last

I try so much to be there for everybody while nobody is there for me like I am for them? I have great friends and a good boyfriend but to say that I've felt like my life matters

Only a couple times yes but it's something I want to feel everyday as if I matter; tried to remain strong but it's breaking me so much

Life sending me all these challenges and it's always one after the other. No break in between to breathe or get over the first trauma

Sitting on the sand I looked out at sea as the sound of the waves bring me back to reality every three and a half seconds making a sound against the rocks

My body moves standing up as I walk down the shore front; I see a ton of big rocks and I want to climb them

"Yuh cya even climb on top of the bed much less be for real," my subconscious taunts laughing

I know lowe mi nuh chro

Awe it's a little baby turtle I make my way over to the baby as the waves crash against the rock hitting it back in the sand

It flaps slightly climbing out moving to the water again

I watch over and over as the waves brings the turtle back into the hole it's getting deeper each time but the turtle manages to climb back up moving towards the water

This goes on for a minute before it crashes into the hole once more

The salty taste of my tears made me realize I was crying

Poor turtle

This time it climbs out the hole and moves quickly to the water when the wave is coming it stops moving and stays still the wave brings the turtle close to the water

After five seconds it's in the water I clap the turtle crying

"There you go,"

I can't believe I just stood and watch a turtle go back and forth between the hole and the waves

Looking at it the turtle symbolizes me and the waves is life the water is true happiness getting into the water says that success comes after many challenges

Life knocks you down so you have to try and try again until it's successful

It's the cycle of life

Making my way back to the car I sighed wish I could engulf in this longer; Evil and chops are standing at the car door

On second thought I turn back around walking some more along the shoreline as the water touches my feet tears fall some more from my eyes

I'm about to be a mother in a month time and I don't think I'm prepared or ready mentally even physically

What if something happens while I'm giving birth what if?

I sit on the sand holding my stomach wondering if life will create more challenges for me