Unattainable Love

CHAPTER-5

Again I was in my room , sitting down on the floor , holding my mother's portrait in my hands . Looking at her picture, tesrs welled up in my eyes and with the word " MAA" out from my mouth ,tears started flowing down my cheeks . Till today I still feel the sharp pain in my chest that she is not around me and not calling me "siyu beta aajao mumma ke pass". Her absence always made me feel the void inside me.

( "siyu, come to your mom, my dear" )

After my mother's death , I had no one by my side literally not even a single person by my side . I always craved for love, care , attention and now I really don't know how people feel when someone love them care for them . For the name sake I can say I have my dad but was he really even there for me when I needed him the most ? The answer is No . " unke pass apne company, business, publicity, events , meetings , power blah blah se time mile tab na mere pass aye" . He never had time for me before and after my mom's death . But before there was my mom "meri pyaari mumma , pata nahi bhagwaan ji ko merese itti kya shikayat thi ki mumma ko bhi cheen liya" . I always had these questions in me " why God let me suffer alone in this cruel world without any single person by my side ? why didn't he took me away with my mom that night ?" that were never answered.

( "He had time for his company, business, publicity, events, meetings, power blah blah but he had no time for me" )

( "my dear mom, I don't know what complaint god had against me that he took away my mom from me" )

I always feel lonely alone in my room ,just dying each and everyday with this feeling of emptiness but with time I adapted this that I have to live with this because no other option left for me other than suicide which is not even an option for me. The years of pain still didn't make me numb because every new day new pain and old pain freshen up like the new one .The days when I feel more worse than rest of the days I talk with my mom's portrait like I'm doing it today . I rant to her portrait but she never replies, it hurts but never mind I know where ever she is right now she can see me and I can feel her.

" mumma apki beti bohot strong hai ekdam aapki tarah , itna tak aagayi sabkuch sehke aur aage bhi I will do it. Mumma apko pata hai doh din baad I will be the new CEO of kapoor co. officially. Apko pata haina yeh field mujhe kabhi nahi karni thi ,mujhe medicine karni thi lekin dad forced me to pursue business. Dad ne kaha force aur kaha apni nahi chalaya , sab toh unke marzi se huwa sabkuch I am suffering till date it's only because of him . " I m crying my heart out talking to her portrait.

( "Mum, your daughter is very strong, just like you. I've come this far, enduring everything, and I will continue forward. Mom, you know, in two days, I will officially become the new CEO of Kapoor Co. You know right, I never wanted to be in this field; I wanted to study medicine, but Dad forced me into business. Everything happened according to his wishes. I'm suffering till date; it's only because of him.")

"Sabke samne mujhe itna pyaar se treat karte hai the moment we are alone treats me like some shit as if unki beti nahi hun kuch cheez hun jaisa mnn kiya wase apne profit ke liye use kiya . But mumma yeh sab bhi seh liya but this decision to make me the new CEO of the company yeh accha nahi kiya , aaj agar aap hoti toh mujhe sab pain se bacha leti. Nahi hota mumma kabhi kabhi yeh sab but mumma phir apne aap ko hi samjhti hun that at the end I am your daughter" wiping my tears I kissed her portrait which made me smile and this smile of mine right one is the real one.

( "In front of everyone, he treat me so lovingly. The moment we are alone, he treat me like some shit, as if I'm not his daughter but just a tool for his profit. But, Mom, I endured all of this. However, the decision to make me the new CEO of the company was not a good one. If you were here today, you would have saved me from all this pain. Sometimes, I can't bear all of this, but then, Mom, I make myself understand that, at the end, I am your daughter." )

Now with sudden rush of determination I sat straight same on the floor and held my mom's portrait infront my face " mumma I promise you today that I will achieve all the success in this field of business as the CEO of kapoor co. I will make sure that dad regret his decision and will turn this into one of his biggest loss . This way I can take our revenge . Saying this I felt some sort of motivation for the upcoming event held at Kapoor co. for me as the new CEO.

One last time I kissed the portrait and muttered "I love you mumma" and kept the portrait on the side table of my bed .

Now I sat on the bed switched off the lights of my room and went to the bed . With the passing years I m so use to with this darkness that I feel solace only in darkness . Looking at the ceiling I reassured myself "Siya you can do it , let the world know about siya kapoor the real one."