My Pleasure, Darling

9: Good Morning, Karen

I give Andrea a ham sandwich, an apple and a piece of that jumbo chocolate bar with a soda. Man, this is shit food. Poor girl shouldn't have to live on this. With any luck, she won't have to have three more meals like this. We'll be in Hakkat, meet the Chancellor's friend, and get something decent.

We slide in at a gas station. "Wait here, I'll go wash and change, and then you guys can go do whatever you ladies do."

He rummages in the trunk, but when he goes around the building, I automatically lock the doors. Not because I think I couldn't protect Andrea if something happened – but a locked door might give me three extra seconds if I need them. And I'd need all I could get.

I glance at her in the rear view mirror. She's finished her food – most of it is only half-eaten. Yeah, I don't fancy it much either, kid. She's holding the elephant, slowly stroking his trunk. Her family on the Metran Isle will have more toys for her. The King's sister, I think, is Queen there. She will take far better care of Andrea than we ever could.

I can see it now – the pretty marble hall of an elaborate palace, filled with grand paintings and old furniture. A pretty woman and her royal family, decked out in fancy clothes, waiting to embrace her.

I don't know if Andrea will remember them. I think there was a royal visit last year. Maybe that will be enough for her to feel safe.

And then. And then? I stare at a car as its driver gets gas. What then? Where do I go? Maybe Andrea will want me to stick around for a while, just until she is comfortable – but what then? Lamyra is my home, not Metran Isle – more precisely, Mount Estar is my home. Always has been. But with my father gone, the military base decimated or destroyed or both, I will have nowhere to return to.

The idea of staying in Metran Isle for the rest of my life is, suddenly, unbearable. I'm sure the Metrans are great people. No idea. Wouldn't know one if they hit me in the street. But they are not my people. They do not know the blessings of a Lamyra tea ceremony, the words of the national anthem, the brotherhood among us. Besides, there is no reason for me to stay there. My life is not forfeit here.

Can I bear to live in Lamyra under HURS rule? That is, somehow, even more repugnant. However, there are options. I could help, maybe. I have the military training to be of some kind of service. They can't destroy all the vampires in one go – it's an impossible feat. Many will go underground. Maybe I can help them.

I don't realise he's back until he's right in front of me, and I'm startled. Damn, Felix. Okay, ew, no, gross, get it together, Lois. Just because that shirt is looking suspiciously tight across him and he looks jacked, doesn't mean you can go around having lewd thoughts. You don't even like him. Get a grip.

I get out as he gets in, and help Andrea out of the back.

"I'm gonna fill up the tank, okay?"

"Go ahead. I'll pay when we get inside."

It's the standard fare, I'm afraid: nasty, grimy grey gas station bathroom. I'm having digestive trouble. It hadn't occurred to me before, but I don't remember the last time I had a comfortable shit. No point in forcing it, but it's a problem. Note to self: acquire dietary fibre.

I have a rag – a shirt the Chancellor packed that I don't think would fit Andrea, unless we can go back in time – and I use it and a little soap to try and freshen us both up. She still has the elephant, tucked bravely under one arm. She's happy to rub herself down with the soapy shirt, smoothing back her hair.

"I know, it's uncomfortable. But we'll be in Hakkat soon. We can be in a house there, and then you'll have a real bed and proper food and nice hot bubble baths." I have no idea if this is comforting to her. When she's done with the rag, it's my turn. Thank God. I smell awful.