My Pleasure, Darling

43: Normalcy

I tell Andrea I tripped and fell, and that is why there is a bruise on my cheek and on my jaw, and leave Felix out of it entirely. I'm not sure she entirely believes me, but I turn it into a valid lesson about running on the stairs, a habit she's getting into that makes me nervous. When I assure her that yes, it does hurt, so she should never be like me and run on the stairs, it makes her sad, but she does go a little slower on her way up, so I can't even be upset.

Something good should come from it, at least.

Simon is a good guy over all. He heard what happened on the staircase and brought me an ice pack. I reckon everybody heard what happened. We were shouting. Small palace. Echoey walls. I'm not sorry for anything I said, because nothing I said was a lie. Let them hear it then.

If the family didn't hear, they are notified, and nobody mentions it at dinners. Dinners in vampire households are quick affairs. Bablets don't take a lot of time to drink. Andrea and I spend a longer time, and sometimes, Trysya spends it with us.

Andrea is learning to cut steak. Andrea is not good at cutting steak, but her attempts are earnest and valiant, so I don't intervene. Suddenly, she puts the knife down.

"Lois?"

"Hm?"

"Why do humans hate vampires?"

Help. Somebody, help me. Rescue me. I look up. Trysya didn't dine tonight, she had somewhere to be. Andrea and I are eating in the small kitchen at the little table there. We are alone. She has chosen a moment of complete solitude to ask me a horrendous question.

She looks up at me. I'm taking too long to answer.

"Hold on," I tell her shakily. "I'm thinking. Of how best to explain it."

This satisfies her. Andrea isn't a patient child, but hearing that the answer is coming, however slowly, seems to help her contain her curiosity. She picks up the knife again and tries to cut her steak with the blunt side. I gently lean forward and turn it in her little hand.

"First of all," I tell her gently, "Not all humans hate vampires. I'm human, and I love vampires. My dad was a vampire. All my friends are vampires." Were vampires. "Actually, very few humans hate vampires at all."

"Aunty Trys says Felix is going away because humans hate vampires." She stabs a slab of steak and rips half of it off with her teeth. I mean, fair enough, she got the food in the end, didn't she?

"It's more complicated than that." But I was right. Felix hasn't explained it to her. Trysya had to do it for him. Damn him.

She waits for me to explain.

"Sometimes, when people are very unhappy – well, they can be unhappy for different reasons. Maybe they fell out of love, or maybe their family member is sick, or maybe they don't like their job." I'm trying to dumb this down and keep it kid-friendly. It feels like a farce. But it's also reminiscent of something Dad once told me as a kid, so I'm rolling on with it. "And if they can't feel happy again, it gets worse and worse. When they get very sad, the only thing that makes them feel better is that somebody, somewhere, must be even sadder than they are."

She frowns. "That doesn't make sense."

"Yeah, it never made sense to me either," I admit. "It's difficult to understand other people when they don't make sense, so sometimes, we just have to accept that that is the way they think."

"Okay." She doesn't sound so sure.

"Well, then they start to think that they don't deserve sad things happening to them."