My Pleasure, Darling

27: Lois and (Losing) the Formula One

It always feels like I've barely been out at all, like I just closed my eyes for a second longer than normal. I can still feel the motor rolling under my body. That's good. It means Felix listened to me and kept driving. I blink, and groan a little. I've slumped in my seat, and now my shoulders hurt. I slide back up in my seat.

Felix glances over at me with the most concerned look I've seen in a long time. He glances back a moment, and whispers to me. I guess Andrea's asleep again. "Lois are you – are you alright? Do I need to stop?"

"No, no, don't stop. I'm fine." I flump in my seat, trying to get back up straight. I rub my shoulder absent-mindedly. "How long was I out for?"

"Bout twenty minutes."

I nod. "Sorry about that. I'd have given you more warning if I could."

"Does that uh – does that happen a lot?"

I probably shouldn't tell him this. "Well, I've got to be honest, I was never really good with car sickness to start with. Twisting to read that book really uh, sealed the deal. And I'm already not feeling too hot."

"Do I – do I need to try and stop in some town, do you need a doctor?"

I can't help but put a hand on his shoulder comfortingly. "No, but thanks. No, I'll be fine. Happens loads. Don't worry about it. Unless I crack my skull open, assume that I am a-okay."

"You know, when you say that, I am not filled with confidence. If you're sick you should see a doctor."

"Trust me when I say there are no doctors who can fix this."

Felix takes a hand off the wheel to rub his face for a moment. He's exasperated. Man, please don't make me say it. "You mean we've been together all this time and you have a condition you couldn't have found five minutes to tell me about?"

He sounds angry. Angry with me. Big mistake buddy. Huge. Embarrassingly big. Fine. You want to be like this annoying? My turn.

"You know what Felix, considering bloody chunks of tissue, veins and blood clots didn't start falling out of my cahooch until about an hour ago, no, I couldn't find five minutes to share the details of that with you."

He sits straight suddenly, pale-faced. What is it with men and periods? Dude, you know women have this function, right? You've slept with your fair share, you've got to know the basics of avoiding unwanted pregnancies. "Oh. Right. Uh. Sorry."

Damn straight.

"Knew I smelled something funny," he mutters. I have to bite back a retort. "This uh, happen a lot?"

"Not a lot," I defend. "Just, I get a little sensitive to dizziness and nausea. And stuff."

It takes him a moment. "Aren't uh, dizziness and nausea, aren't those symptoms of uh, pregnancy?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Are you pregnant?" he asks bluntly. He starts to backtrack immediately. "I mean, no I didn't mean it like that, I mean, like, if you need help, like uh, medical help, intervention, we can get that. Or I mean, if you want to keep it – you'll need stuff, right? Cause we can do that. I just-"

"Felix, stop talking." I stare at him while he shuts up. "Felix can you explain how exactly I would go about having a period and a pregnancy at the same time?"

He tries to play it cool so hard, I have to stop myself from laughing at him. "Well you know, I mean, I'm just saying, I'm just saying if that did happen, you know I would try. To be a good guy. And like. Help you and stuff."