A Fool in Korea

Fargo

Yesterday afternoon, I took Rice-Boy Larry to a restaurant called No-Brand Burger. The motto of this establishment is Why Pay More? It's Good Enough. I shit you not. My son got a hamburger smothered with onions and bacon, and I ate a large order of fries while sipping on a Pepsi.

We struck up a conversation as we stuffed our faces.

I said, "Your brother quit his job at Chick-fil-A."

"No crap?"

"Yep. No crap."

He took a large bite from his sandwich. "That's the second time he's quit Chick-fil-A."

I shrugged my shoulders. "I guess that restaurant simply doesn't float his boat."

"So why did he give up the job?"

"He works outside in the drive-thru area, and the cold nights were starting to get to him."

He took a sip of Sprite. "He told me that he made good tips out there."

"Well, money isn't everything."

"What are his plans?"

I popped a French fry into my mouth. "I have no idea. I asked him to try out Waffle House to see if it's something I could do upon my return. But your brother never listens to me. He's still angry."

Larry sighed heavily. "Dad, you have a college degree. I'm sure you could do better than the fucking Waffle House."

I frowned and tapped my fingers against the table. "I'm not sure if I can. My head's all screwed up. I need something productive but easy. I'm tired of thinking all the time."

"What about an insurance company?"

I sighed heavily. "I don't think so. Be honest. Is toiling in a diner that big of a deal? Would you hate your father if he became a waiter?"

"Of course not. But your choice of career would certainly puzzle me. It feels like you're giving up on life."

"I'm not giving up. I'm simply retiring."

After the meal, we went to a place called Daiso. It's a department store famous on the peninsula for its cheap prices. I bought five bars of soap for a dollar apiece. And I also purchased slippers and toilet paper for next to nothing. Plus I scooped up a bunch of discounted bags of candy. Daiso is my favorite place to shop in all of Korea.

I said, "Are you looking forward to going on your school trip tomorrow?"

"Not really. I'd rather stay home."

My boy is visiting Malaysia for ten fun-filled days. I'm not sure what's on the agenda when he arrives at his destination. But it's got to be better than sleeping all day and playing computer games all night. That type of life is for the birds. 

I said, "Well, it's good to get out of the apartment. Have you smelt my room lately?"

"Yes. It reeks of shit."

I nodded. "That foul odor is emanating from the bathroom. I think a sewage line must have broken. I just hope that I don't contract the plague."

"Maybe you should call somebody."

"I'll give it a few days to see if the odor goes away on its own. This stink isn't new. But it seems to become worse during the winter months."

We got back to our humble abode at five p.m., and I watched several episodes of a show called Fargo. This is season five, and it stars John Hamm as an unhinged sheriff from North Dakota. Fargo will blow your mind. I kid you not. It comes with my highest recommendation.