A Fool in Korea

Alcoholism

Yesterday, I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of instant coffee. Then I read the headlines on my smartphone while taking a nasty shit. A man in his 20s from the city of Incheon stole a car and took it for a joyride. He was huffing on canisters of butane gas as he sped down the streets of the town. Well, the canisters caught on fire and burned the automobile beyond recognition. Luckily, the thief wasn't killed. He ran away from the scene of the crime and went to a local bathhouse to forget his sorrows. The cops eventually arrested him the next day at 2:15 a.m.

I called my mother using Facebook Messenger.

I said, "Did the contractor make it to your house this morning?"

She nodded. "Yes, he got here right at 10 on the nose. He's going to charge me $500 to lay down tile in Chicken Ken's room."

"Wow. That seems like a bargain. I actually thought it would be thousands of bucks."

"We're going the cheap route. To replace the entire floor is $3,500. But we've decided just to stick with the tile. No point in driving up the costs if we're only going to sell the fucking place."

I smiled at her. "Good thinking. And how's your Mexican husband doing these days?"

"Honestly?" She paused for dramatic effect. "He's not looking too good. I think he's losing weight."

"Well, he's 85 fucking years old. Nobody looks good at that age." I changed the subject. "You seem very energetic today. What's up?"

She took a sip of cola. "I forgot to take my blood-pressure medicine. I always have energy when I don't swallow my pills. They sap me of strength."

I shook my head from side to side. "That's not a good idea. The next stroke will kill you."

"Old age is a cold-blooded murderer."

I caught the bus and got to work at 8 a.m. I talked to my friend Richard Hurtz for a few minutes before the day began. Once again, our conversation focused on rugby.

I said, "I finished that documentary on Netflix last night. Ireland seems like a hell of a team. They won the 2023 Six-Nations Cup."

"Those spud-eating assholes are ranked above New Zealand even though New Zealand beat them in the World Cup tournament. The Europeans always get the benefit of the doubt. The whole system is rigged."

"So New Zealand won the World Cup?"

"No, they lost by one point in the championship game to South Africa. You should have seen it. Talk about brutal. I'm surprised that nobody was killed or maimed."

I laughed out loud at his remark. "You're really into this stuff, aren't you?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "What do you expect? I'm Australian. It's practically our national sport."

"Are you guys any good?"

"Not really. This wasn't one of our better years."

And with that said, he walked out of my room.

I used the time to prep for my high school classes. I'm reading Sir Arthur Conan Doyle with the students. I'm not a huge fan of Sherlock Holmes, but lots of folk get a bang out of the stories. Are the kids enjoying it? I have no idea. But most of them seem to be awake. It's always a good sign when the kids aren't falling out of their chairs due to boredom.

I eventually got home at 6 p.m. and prepared Chinese dumplings and French fries for dinner. The food tasted great. Rice-Boy Larry cleaned his plate in no-time flat. I also drank a bottle of soju. I hope I'm not becoming an alcoholic.