Consider Me Gone

Chapter 5.

Toni

I grabbed my keys as I prepared to leave work. Today had been a long day, and I was ready to go home and turn my shower into a sauna. My legs hurt from being on my feet all day, and my last cup of coffee was beginning to wear off. I would be back here tomorrow before I knew it, so rushing to get home was my top priority.

Lucky for me, the elevator seemed to be complying today, so I jumped in without giving it a second thought. I didn't even realize who was in it until the doors shut and I heard the deep voice of Dr. Sloan.

"Heading home, Dr. Thatcher?" He looked down at me with a smirk on his face, but all I could do was nod my head in return. I rolled my tongue around in my mouth to keep the smile that was threatening to break my cool facade.

I intended to suffer the rest of this elevator ride in silence, but then I felt tiny hands tugging at my jacket. I looked down to see a pair of familiar blue eyes and a shy smile, "hi," Abel said while giggling. My breath hitched as I looked at him, and for a moment, all I could do was stare at his angelic face.

"Hi Abel," I said softly. I felt my throat tighten as the words left my lips and I hurriedly looked away from the small child. I could hear Tara reprimand him behind me about not touching strangers, and it took everything in my power not to point out her hypocrisy.

But then I realized, she was right. I was a stranger to him. No matter how much I sang to him or held him when he was sick, he didn't know me. As far as he knew, I was just some random woman in the elevator and the knowledge of that kind of hurt.

I'll be the first to admit that I struggled with the idea of becoming his mother. Because not only did he not look like me, but he also served as proof that Jax cheated. He served as a reminder that at some point in time, I wasn't enough for my husband, and while he was tucked away in Wendy's womb, I resented him for it.

It wasn't until after I signed my name on those papers that I felt the guilt that only a mother should feel. I didn't want to leave him behind to grow up in a life of violence and death, and I knew that by leaving Jax, that would be his future. He was just a baby and once upon a time, he would have been my baby. But I knew that taking Abel on meant being around Jax and Tara, and my heart wouldn't allow me to put myself through that.

When the doors opened, Mark stepped back to let all of us out first. His face was serious, and his cheery attitude seemed to subside. Jax was waiting outside for Tara and the boys when I stepped out of the elevator, and our eyes met when he saw me.

"Are you heading straight home after this Dr. Thatcher, or can you make time for a quick drink?"

I blinked a few times like there'd been a glitch in the system, and Mark had not just asked me out for drinks. "Excuse me?" I said while looking at him with wide eyes.

Even Tara had stopped in her tracks, which caused Jax to walk over in concern. Mark glanced at Jax before turning his attention back to me, "I'm asking you to go out with me, Toni. My treat."

My lips quivered as I felt my cheeks tingle like I had eaten something sour. I was slightly embarrassed to be getting asked out in front of Tara and Jax, who were shamelessly standing there waiting for my reply.

"I-," I swallowed the lump in my throat that was prohibiting me from answering. "I mean sure as long as it's just one."

"Perfect!" Mark said before clapping his hands together causing me to jump. "Dr. Namid was telling me about a bar downtown, I think it's called the Ally or something."

"Rundown Ally?" I asked, clarifying.

"Yeah, that's it! Is it any good?" He asked.

I shrugged my shoulders, "it's a bar."

"Well, it's good enough for me if you'll accompany me."

I bit my bottom lip as I tried to fight through the awkwardness of being stared down. "I guess I'll see you there," I said to Mark who was wearing his previous smile from before.

"Great, well, have a good night, Dr. Knowles. Sir," he said referring to Jax before placing his hand on my shoulder to lead me to my car. My heart was pounding in my chest and once we were out of Tara and Jax's view, I smacked Mark's shoulder.

"Ow! There you go with the hitting again," he said holding his shoulder.

"What was that?!" I whispered/yelled at him.

"What are you talking about? I thought we were going out for drinks. What? Your ex can't handle seeing you moving on? You're a beautiful woman, Toni, I thought you'd have more confidence than that."

My mouth hung open when I realized what Mark had done. "Did you ask me out in front of them just so that I would say yes?"

"Well, I didn't think you'd say no," Mark said with an innocent look on his face which earned him another slap on his shoulder.

"Careful, I'll return the favor one day and it won't be your shoulder you're nursing after."

I groaned before reaching into my purse to grab my keys. This man was unbelievable! I have never met someone with such audacity before, and I don't think I'd survive meeting someone like him a second time.

"So, how far is the bar from here? Ten, fifteen..."

"You've got to be joking," I said while staring at him in disbelief.

"Surprisingly I'm not, I've been trying to flirt with you all day, and you think seeing your ex is going to stop me from wanting to go out with you?"

"Mark, we work together!" I pointed out.

"So? Twenty-two percent of spouses met at the workplace, and fifty-two percent have engaged in a work-related romance."

"Oh, so I guess only twenty-six percent of people knew what was good for them."

Mark smiled at that and then fixed his eyes on me. He said nothing as his eyes spoke every word that he didn't dare say out loud. "Have a drink with me," he asked again, only this time without an audience.

"On what planet would that be a good idea?" I asked with a smile.

"On the same planet that your ex-husband got to look at you every day and still managed to lose you."

Oh, he was good. I laughed while doing my best not to make eye contact with him. Those eyes were dangerous, and he knew it too.

"One drink, Mark. One drink and nothing more." I turned around to get in my car, only to feel Mark's eyes scoping out my body. "Mark," I said giving him a pointed look, "my eyes are up here."

"Oh, don't worry Thatcher, I know exactly where your eyes are, I know where everything is," he said before winking at me and walking to his car. I rolled my eyes as I watched him walk away knowing that he had the biggest grin on his face after getting what he wanted.