Consider Me Gone

Chapter 11.

Tara

I replayed my conversation with Toni repeatedly in my mind. I kept on flopping back and forth from embarrassment and sadness. I was embarrassed because of how she treated me when I went to her for help. But I was overcome with sadness because she was right. I had chosen this life, stolen it from her if you will, and now I was drowning under the weight of my decision.

I loved Jackson. I loved our little family and the sons we shared. But I hated this life, I hated SAMCRO.

So, when Gemma showed me the threatening letter that was left in my car. Toni's words blared in my ears, "You love the man; you love the club, they are a package deal. That is your cross to bear as an ol' lady." However, I couldn't love this. I couldn't love fearing for my life and becoming a target for the club.

"Could this be someone at work? A patient? Something happened to a kid?" Gemma asked.

"You really think this has anything to do with my work?" I asked her seriously. I would have remembered a disgruntled parent, but the only emotions I dealt with were mostly grief and desperation.

"What about Toni?! She was upset when everything went down with Jax, maybe this is retaliation." Gemma was clearly grasping at straws. Toni hasn't tried to do anything for three years; I doubt she'd waste her ink on sending a threat to my house. Besides, Margaret told me that Toni was made a job offer at Seattle Grace, no way she was ruining that over some petty argument.

"We should call Jax," she said after seeing the look on my face.

"I'm calling the police," I said walking towards my phone.

"No!" Gemma protested, "If this is the club, you get that new sheriff involved, everyone gets hurt. I'm gonna give Unser a call too."

"This is a death threat, Gemma, delivered to my front door!"

"I know," she said looking at me sympathetically. "Let's get you and the kids to the compound, make sure you're safe."

"Normal people call the authorities when their lives are threatened," I said on the verge of tears.

"You don't have a normal life, baby. You have this one."

I sighed in defeat as her words mirrored what Toni had told me. I wanted to scream at both for telling me something so insensitive, but at the same time, they were both right. This is the life I had chosen, and no matter how many promises Jax made to take us away from here, we were here now.

So, I had no choice but to watch as Gemma called Jax and then Unser. Opie and Unser were at my house in a flash while Gemma planned to bring me and the boys to the compound.

Everything happened so fast as we got ready to leave. Abel was crying while Unser tried to soothe him, and before I knew it, I was knee-deep in trying to repair a gang leader. I guess it was all coming full circle of what my life would be like. A respected surgeon by day and the in-house doctor for my husband's motorcycle club at night.

Margaret informed me that my shift was canceled today. I was now considered a liability, and the hospital wanted to take safety measures by not having me come in today. I can't say I blamed them, but I would have appreciated it if Margaret also told me that they had reported the incident to the Sheriff.

"Who told you someone made a threat?" I asked Roosevelt, even though I could smell Margaret all over this.

"It was an anonymous tip," he informed.

I nodded my head, even though I knew he wasn't telling the truth. "Well, I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" he pried, "you seem a little unnerved."