sunsets after dark. | poetry collection

316. - 320.

316.
I will love you as much as I physically can.
I will love you for you.
In the state you currently present yourself to me as.
So you know how easy it is to love you.
As you are.
~E, self love.

317.
Why is it so easy for me to understand others but so hard for them to understand me?
Why do I have to be the one that has to look beyond the surface?
Why do I have to be the one that reads between the lines?
Over analyzing the words that spill out of their mouth.
Looking for that underlying feeling or expression.
One that they fear to say.
It being at the tip of their tongue but being forced to swallow down.
I notice that.
Their nervous chatter or when they're mean to protect themselves.
I could tell you why they are the way they are just by the way I analyzed them.
Why is it so hard for them to do the same for me?
When asked why do they think I am the way I am.
They always come up empty.
I am so much more than just coming up empty.
~E, observer.

318.
Pomegranate.
I am worth the effort.
To have to pry me open to enjoy the seeds.
The sweetness of me.
Mixed with my tart outer shell.
A mold for my seeds.
I am worth the love.
Even after once I'm open and bare to you I bleed and weep.
Staining your fingertips and nails a red color.
Making a red mess that could've been avoided if you didn't choose me.
But you did.
You chose me among all the others even with the mess I carry with me.
As you would a backpack on a hiking trip or a life jacket on a jet ski.
I am worth the time.
It takes to cut me open.
Having nothing to hide behind.
Or to makeshift my appearance to.
How it takes time to know me.
I am worth the wait.
I'm sweet with my outer shell being tart.
My seeds are ripe with juice to be taken advantage of.
I am worthy of the effort, love, time, and wait.
I am worthy.
~E, opening a pomegranate.

319.
Trying to love yourself while trying to love another's heart.
Loving them since they don't love themselves.
Trying to show and prove to them that it's so easy to love and care for them.
Is a heavy burden to bear on your own.
~E, I got this. (No I don't.)

320.
After meeting someone new,
I always think they will be gone in the next 3 months.
The amount of time it takes someone to loose interest in me.
3 months until they find someone new someone better to take my place.
Being told to not think that way to not doom my friendships from the start but been proven to believe in my fear.
To doom my friendships from the start is something I will carry with me for the rest of my life.
~E, abandonment issues.

•••
I'm going to apologize for this set of poems because I think they all could've been better. I just haven't felt like writing so this is what ya get for now ig.