The War Bride

32 | Determination

The last time Luwen cried her heart out was when her parents were murdered.

When she was eleven, she worked in the kitchen and often performed chores like peeling the garlic or fetching pails of water from the nearby wells. Once, she got hungry and stole a couple of osmanthus cakes, which made her end up getting caned twenty times on her palms by the head chef, but she didn't cry. When she was fourteen and began her swordsmanship training, the matriarch tasked her to take her first kill on a man who had attempted to set fire to her palace. Luwen, however, trembled in fear and could not heed her orders.

The man was executed later in public.

Giving a vicious laugh, the matriarch punished Luwen by having her shove her hands into a pile of snow in the harsh winter, forcing her to stay there for a couple of hours. She didn't expect Luwen to kill for her sake, she only wanted to instill fear and obedience.

She thought she won.

But after all the physical and mental abuse, Luwen never cried. She refused to.

Not until now.

Her vision blurred as she bawled like a child. Dai Yichen's surprise was apparent when he saw her tears, but he quickly enveloped her in his warm embrace. Pressing her face into his shoulder, she sought comfort in his presence. Tremors rocked through her as tears leaked uncontrollably, but he didn't seem to mind that she was staining his clothes.

He rubbed her back soothingly, whispering once again.

"You're not alone anymore."

She wept hard, releasing the turmoil of emotions which she had sealed deep within her heart over the last several years.

No one, not since her parents' demise, had held her like this.

Dai Yichen comforted, looked at her, and listened.

She missed this. She missed being loved and cared for.

Luwen drew back slowly to look into his concerned eyes. "Thank you," she told him while choking back tears. "It's my first time hearing those words, and I'm at a loss for putting words together."

His gaze softened considerably. "Then don't," he answered. "Just speak whatever's on your mind."

She lowered her head, her eyes falling upon her jacquard shoes. "Living with the matriarch didn't feel like it's my home," she admitted. "The room and hallways are dark. No one dares to mingle in groups, mostly because the matriarch forbids us to do so. She's constantly afraid people would conspire against her. She doesn't like me too, but enjoys keeping me close by her side. People are her pawns. The only way to survive is to listen to her."

Whether it was her words or the princess's, this shall remain the truth to both of them. "I've often received criticisms and taunts, but no one listens to me when I'm of little significance. Sometimes, I get tired and only wish to move on. It became a habit."

"Not anymore," he said. "You're living with me. You're no longer watched by the matriarch. If you stop getting used to people's taunts and start standing up for yourself, you'll be less likely to be targeted in the future. They will start paying attention to the differences between you and her, just like I did."

"I will," she agreed. "From now onwards, I'll start being more honest with myself and you. I can prove it to you first. You wish to know what the High Priestess spoke to me about last night?"

His eyes widened a fraction, surprised by her willingness to confide in him.

"Tell me," he breathed.

"It's the lifeline on my palms," she said. She couldn't fully disclose everything, but this was a fragment of the truth. "Ever since the High Priestess has informed me that my life will be short, I have felt troubled. It's not known how much time I've left."