"Life is short. Eat dessert first." – Ernestine Ulmer
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"Fleeeeeeetcher..."
"Suuuuushi..."
"Do you know any cheats for Mario Kart?"
"So, your brother is whooping your ass at Mario Kart, I presume."
"Maybe. Maybe not."
"You're getting your butt beaten by a kid who's, what, half your age?"
"Firstly, I'm seventeen and he's ten. Secondly, you're having a civil conversation with said girl whose ass is being whooped at Mario Kart, so your point is invalid."
"Touché."
"I thought so."
"Well, do you know that speed boost hack that you do at the start of a race?"
"There's a speed boost hack? That explains why Brandon had ten virtual metres over me right from the beginning!"
"Sushi, how did you not know that? That's the fundamental knowledge for any Mario Kart player ever. I'm so disappointed in you!"
"Just tell me what the hack is before I whoop your ass!"
"Alright, calm your farm! I'll tell you."
"You better."
"Sushi, don't you use the internet? Why don't you search up these things?"
"You're my Google with these kinds of things. I'm academically brilliant, not video-game wise. Then again, I'm actually pretty great at Call of Duty, if I do say so myself."
"Oh, really? We'll see about that when I whoop your ass one day."
"You're on, shish kebab."
"Anyhow, press the A button on three, hold for a second, and let go."
"Is that all?"
"Do the same with two for the second press, but for the third press, make sure you do it just before one. If I press it on one, my engine tends to blow, but the timing may differ from Wii to Wii. You are playing on a Wii, right?"
"Yeah, but I'm so confused right now."
"Don't worry, it's not a hard concept to wrap your head around. Practice makes perfect. Once you get the knack of it, you can get it every time."
"..."
"Sushi?"
"It actually worked, oh my god! My brother's glaring daggers at me but I don't care because I'm first, and he's second! I'm winning! You're a miracle worker, Fletcher!"
"Tell me something I don't know."
"Ugh, and the moment's over."
"Wait, I have to go. Melanie's screaming. Have fun with Mario!"
"Uh–"
"Oh, get your mind out of the gutter, sheesh. Sushis these days."
"Hey, that one was your own fault, asshole. Anywho, see ya later, alligator!"
"In a while, crocodile!"
YOU ARE READING
Waffle Cones (#1)
Short Story"Hello?" "Um, hey?" "Wait, you don't sound like my Aunt Kathy." "Unless I was miraculously converted into a member of the opposite gender and somehow related to whoever is on the other side of this call, then yeah. I'm not your Aunt Kathy." ...
