"Happiness is life served up with a scoop of acceptance, a topping of tolerance and sprinkles of hope, although chocolate sprinkles also work." – Robert Brault
■ □ ■ □ ■ □ ■ □
"Three, two, one–"
"What's up, Flip-Flop-Fletcher?"
"I called it."
"How did you know it was me?"
"There are two times when you call me. One, when you're in distress, and two, when you're bored. Erin and Alex just left your house, so you're bored."
"Oh, Erin and Alex. Right, them."
"Um, yeah. The sickly sweet couple who are dating because of my magical shipping powers, remember?"
"Yes, I recall."
"Sushi, what's wrong?"
"Nothing! I'm perfectly fine and dandy."
"Come on, you can lie better than that. Now, tell me what's bothering you."
"Didn't you hear me the first time? I'm perfecto, spectacular, totally okay!"
"Alright, alright! I won't push it."
"So, how did you know Erin and Alex just left my house?"
"I'm a ninja waiter."
"Please. I doubt you can even serve an ice cream without tripping over and killing someone with a waffle cone."
"Ruuuuude!"
"Stop shouting, you moron!"
"Wait, what happened to asshole?"
"Would you rather me call you that?"
"Nah, I'm good."
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
"A ninja waiter!"
"You're already a ninja waiter. Pick another."
"Did you just admit that I'm a ninja waiter? Oh my god, progress!"
"What?"
"What?"
"Oh hey, could you please send me a mint chocolate chip ice cream?"
"A– A what?"
"A mint chocolate chip ice cream, dumbo!"
"Stop screaming, I heard you the first time!"
"Seriously, just get me my ice cream."
"You forgot the magic words!"
"Go or I'll smash your face into a plate?"
"Eh, good enough."
YOU ARE READING
Waffle Cones (#1)
Short Story"Hello?" "Um, hey?" "Wait, you don't sound like my Aunt Kathy." "Unless I was miraculously converted into a member of the opposite gender and somehow related to whoever is on the other side of this call, then yeah. I'm not your Aunt Kathy." ...
