"The only emperor is the emperor of ice cream." – Wallace Stevens
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"This is Waffle Cones, how may I help you?"
"Why don't you guys deliver ice cream by helicopter?"
"We barely have enough money to cover basic necessities and the rest was splurged on the ice cream phone I'm using to speak to you. Next!"
"Wait, an ice cream shaped phone? Is the handset waffle cone shaped? Is the speaker a scoop of ice cream with a cherry on top?"
"Not cherries, m'dear, they're sprinkles."
"Whateves, same difference."
"That's offensive! Take your words back, you uncultured Sushi. Cherries and sprinkles are not the same."
"I'll take them back once you deliver ice cream to my house via a helicopter."
"Why are you so dead set on a helicopter delivery?"
"It's super duper extra and I'm totally on board with that."
"Really? Nothing to do with the gooey romantic factor?"
"I wouldn't mind if you chuck down some rose petals and a bottle of red wine, but I didn't plan on making it a date."
"Wait, so you're asking me to be extra and I don't even get a reward for it? I feel cheated! Dishonor on you! Dishonor on your cow!"
"You consider a date with me a reward?"
"I consider a date with anybody a reward, to be honest."
"Awe, so we can be forever alone buddies!"
"Pinky swear?"
"As a lonely single soul, of course. How about you, Flippity-Floppity-Fletcher?"
"Cross my heart and hope to die, with some sorbet by my side."
YOU ARE READING
Waffle Cones (#1)
Short Story"Hello?" "Um, hey?" "Wait, you don't sound like my Aunt Kathy." "Unless I was miraculously converted into a member of the opposite gender and somehow related to whoever is on the other side of this call, then yeah. I'm not your Aunt Kathy." ...
