Prank Caller

Numero Cuatro

BOLD - Carter
Italics - Sydney

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"Hey"

"Who are you?"

"Wow. I'm surprised you don't remember after last time."

"Oh! I know! It's the dick that prank called me! Hey, dude."

"Wow. What got you in a good mood?"

"Oh, nothing except I got asked out today."

"Oh... Girl stuff. Okay."

"You know I can hang up any moment. I don't get it. You were the one who called. Do you have anything to say? Or are you just pranking me again?"

"Gosh. Okay. Look... I'm just bored. I-I don't have any friends right now."

"Woah... Hold up. Yesterday, you just said you had an awesome life. Now you telling me that you don't have any friends. Something must have happened between that fifteen hour time gap. So spill if you want. Anyway. I need something to write about for my psychology report. So could you help a girl out?"

"Wow... Using my crappy life for a report, eh?... That's great!"

"Your sarcasm is on point, my friend."

"I thought you said we weren't friends? Do you want to be?.. I don't know."

"Well, I need you for this report so.... Yeah. Why not? It's like we're fake friends. Let's get this freaking friend gathering started!"

"So I'm friends with a freak. Okay. Well... Where do I start?"

"Okay. So what's got you down, kid?"

"Well... Alright... This is weird."

"Me, too, kiddo. Me, too."

"So, yesterday I walked in on my girlfriend and my best friend, who is also a girl, making out."

"Dang..."

"Yeah. So we broke up and the two ran off together. Not speaking to me today...Then, I was talking to this girl in class. Her boyfriend is also my friend. He got the wrong idea, so... Yeah. They all kind of left. Then, today.. Well... What can I say? I lost my place on the basketball team. So yeah. Life is such a shitty thing!"

"Dang... Stranger... Okay. Back to business. How do you feel?"

"A mixture of anger, sadness, and I'm tired."

"Well. Tiredness is expected when this kind of stuff happens..... Anger from the cheating... Sadness from the loss of a friend... That explains... What are you going to do about all these problems?"

"Hm... I'm probably going to... Punch something."

"Violence is never the answer, you know."

"Yeah, I know."

"Then why do you resort to violence when things get rough?"

"It's the easy way out. By the way, you sound like some sort of Gandhi or, like Dr. Phil."

"Are you drunk?"

"Maybe.."

" *sigh* How much did you drink?"

"Three beers."

"Okay. Well... Do you have any water nearby?"

"Right on my nightstand."

"Okay. Drink that, kid. Now hang up and go to sleep."

"Okay, ma."

"Whatever loser."