Life Is Pointless

I Make A YouTube Video

I want everyone to know my story. I know that a lot of people have seen my posts, but I want them to see my full story.
I take my phone and put it on my bed where it is leaning on my pillow. I wrote a lot on index cards. I got inspired to do a video like how Amanda Todd did her story.
I start recording on my phone. I read what the first card says. Even though it's backwards.

The card reads:
I am one of the many bully victims.
I place the card down. The next one reads:
I was bullied on the first day of kindergarten.
Place card down.
My hair was a pixie cut. Someone thought that I was a boy.
Card down.
I also wore a shirt that used to belong to my sister. It had a teddy bear on it.
Next card.
I got the nickname, Teddy Bear. I was called that for a few years.
Next card.
One day at recess, I was with a group of girls.
Next card.
They were putting mulch in each other's mouths.
Next card.
They got ahold of me and put mulch in my mouth.
Next card.
I ran and told the teachers on them.
Next card.
The teachers accused me of tattling.
Next card.
A few years later, I got bullied by the same girls.
Next card.
They laughed at little things that they overheard from a conversation that my best friend and I were talking about.
Next card.
I never told any adult because I thought that they would accuse me for tattling.
Next card.
I got bullied really bad in seventh grade.
Next card.
My best friend moved away to Colorado.
Next card.
Right after she left, I started binge eating.
Next card.
I binged the entire summer.
Next card.
I was obese when seventh grade started.
Next card.
There was a clique that had three of the girls who bullied me.
Next card.
They asked why I was fat. I felt so humiliated.
Next card.
I ran to the bathroom and hid in the big stall.
Next card.
The girls in the clique crawled into the stall that I was in.
Next card.
I said many cuss words at them. They all laughed at me.
Next card.
After school that day, I started starving myself.
Next card.
Weeks later, I was so skinny that my bones were easy to see.
Next card.
At school, I was made fun of because of the weight loss.
Next card.
I ran into the bathroom, so I could stay away from those horrible girls.
Next card.
They crawled into the stall that I was in. It was crammed in the small stall.
Next card.
One of the girls slammed me into the side of the stall because of how light I was.
Next card.
I was on the floor while the girls who bullied me went to class.
Next card.
A teacher found me asleep on the bathroom floor after school.
Next card.
I told her everything. She didn't believe me.
Next card.
My birthday came after that horrible day.
Next card.
I texted my best friend everything I got.
Next card.
Her mom replied saying that my BFF was out with her friends when a drunk driver hit them. They all died.
Next card.
I used the pocket knife that my dad got me to slit my arm.
Next card.
A few days later, I attempted suicide.
Next card.
I carved "Life Is Pointless" on my arm. I stabbed the knife through my wrist.
Next card.
I woke up in the hospital.
Next card.
I had blood flowing into me from a pouch and my arm was wrapped up in bandages.
Next card.
I was also connected to a feeding tube.
Next card.
After getting released, I decided to live life to the fullest.
Next card.
I wanted to be on social media.
Next card.
I started several accounts.
Next card.
I told them about my story of how I was suicidal. They all believed me.
Next card.
I played games on Kik with people I didn't know.
Next card.
One guy asked me to show him my boobs.
Next card.
I did exactly what he said.
Next card.
I woke up with other guys wanting nude pics.
Next card.
I did exactly what they wanted.
Next card.
I made over 30 perverts happy when it came to nude pics.
Next card.
The pictures were so viral, I attempted suicide again.
Next card.
I drank bleach and ingested several different kinds of medication.
Next card.
My sister rushed me to the hospital.
Next card.
After getting released, I lived a normal life.
Next card.
My family has always been there for me.
Next card.
I avoid the bullies as much as possible.
Next card.
Now as a freshman in high school, I met new people who understand me more than everyone in my grade.
Next card.
My new friends will never replace my best friend, Shannon Ayers.
The final card.
My name is Joleen Adkins.

I stop the camera on my phone. I go onto YouTube to upload it. I title the video, 'My Suicidal Story'. After the upload, I use my laptop to add music to it. It's better with music. I got a lot of views throughout the weekend. People are actually supporting me.