Lullaby | Brahms Heelshire |

Chapter 12

And you'll wake in my arms.
   A clap of thunder sent me bolting up right in my bed. My heart clanged in my chest like a ringing bell. I searched across my dark room in a sleepy daze. Blue light spilled on the floor from the wide window. I got a perfect view of the trees outside from the drawn curtains. Rain was falling in sheets outside. The house groaned and creaked the way a ship would on the stormy seas.
   Wind slapped leaves onto the window, giving the illusion that hands were trying to claw their way in. I stared out into the night, my heart was still racing. I dug my fingers into my sheets as the thunder roared outside. Sweat beaded at my forehead and silver lightning forked through the sky.
   I had always hated storms. When I was a little girl, I was diagnosed with astraphobia aka fear of thunder and lightning. Instead of giving me the therapy I needed, my parents thought that they could fix me with some love and affection. Whenever the thunder would begin to roll, they would quickly scoop me in their arms and hold me till the storm ceased. That didn't fix me at all, because now not only was I still deathly afraid, but I also had to be held like a child. So thanks mom and dad.
   A shriek caught in my throat as lightning flashed dangerously close to the house. The thunder followed and tears began to flow down my cheeks. The window looked like it was getting wider and wider, making the storm outside bigger and bigger. My breathing became harsh and shallow. I had to shut the curtains. I unclench led my fists from the sheets, my knuckles were white from holding on so tightly. I almost collapsed when my feet touched the floor. Rain pounded hard against the glass and I was afraid that the drops would make it shatter, leaving me susceptible to the storm.
   My heart leaped into my throat as I stepped closer and closer to the window. My arm shook in the air as I reached for the curtain. I quickly clenched the fabric and slid it over the window. After, I rushed to my bed and dove under the covers like a little kid would have. The tears kept coming and I wrapped the blankets tightly around me to stop my trembling. A big crash of thunder almost made me cry out. I couldn't be in the dark anymore. I reached over to twist my lamp on. The darkness remained after I heard the click and I panicked. The power was out. My breaths became short and labored.
   I closed my eyes, covered my ears, and tried to control my nerves, but it wasn't working. I was getting worse. I needed lights. I needed someone to hold me like my parents would. I needed... Brahms. I needed Brahms.
   Before I could even think I shouted his name right before a loud crack of thunder made me jump out of bed. "Brahms!"  I shouted again into the darkness. I ran to the wall and knocked. I wasn't sure how else to get his attention.
   I ran out into the hallway and knocked on the walls, desperately hoping that he could hear me. "Brahms!" I screamed. I was going mad. A giant flash of lightning sent illumination down the hall, revealing Brahm's tall dark shadow standing at the end. In an instant the flash was gone, causing Brahms to melt back into the darkness. I absently ran to him. "Brah..." My words were sliced apart by a sharp crack of thunder. Hysteria pumped through my veins and I finally collapsed from its toxins. I knelt in the middle of the hall, a complete mess. I couldn't move. My heart beat so fast I thought that it was going to combust
   "Danny." Brahm's voice was soft, but I was still able to hear it through all the blood pumping in my ears. I looked up, my vision was so distorted from my tears. He was standing over me. I could barely see the whiteness of his mask floating in the darkness above. A sob escaped my lips and I used all the strength I had to stand. Without a second of hesitation I wrapped my arms around him and fell into his chest.
   A sharp gasp escaped from behind the mask and he froze like my touch had turned him to stone. His chest then rose and fell in quick strides. I looked up to his mask, afraid that I had done something wrong. His eyes were wide with dis belief. Sad realization hit me. Brahms probably hadn't had physical contact in years. This was new to him. And It was scaring him.
   Brahm's labored breathing became more vigorous as he slowly wrapped his arms around me. Soon he was holding me in his arms, testing it out as if he had never touched another person before. His breath slowed as he grew more comfortable, and he slowly began to squeeze me. He was still experimenting. This was new to him. He began to crush me. "Oww!" I cried out as my lungs began to deflate.
   Before I had time to think, Brahms unraveled himself from me and jumped back. The confusion in his eyes burned me. He didn't know what he had done wrong. He began to turn away and there was another flash of lightning. "No!" I quickly shouted causing him to jump. He turned his head as the thunder crashed. "Brahms please don't go." I begged. "Will you..." I choked on my words, I hadn't realized that I was still crying. "Will you stay with me." My voice was quiet.
   He stood in science for what felt like forever. I must have looked so stupid to him. Why did I even ask him? Why would he want to help me? "Im sorry." My voice quivered and I looked to the floor. "I just hate storms." My eyes filled with more tears. What was wrong with me?
   "I'll stay with you."
   I looked up to find Brahms stepping towards me.
   "What?" My voice shook in disbelief.
   "I'll stay with you Danny."
~*~
   I was curled right up to Brahm's side, with my head resting on his chest. It had taken him a second to adjust. He had to learn how to react and how to handle the situation. I felt a little bit like I was taking advantage of him, he clearly was uncomfortable. But he was trying. It was scary to try new things, so I was patient as he figured things out. After all I did owe it to him. He was doing this all for me. And he was helping. I already felt much better.
   We just laid together in my bed as the rain fell harshly outside. It was peaceful now. Eventually Brahms wrapped an arm around me. I could feel it trembling. I had to keep telling myself that he was just figuring things out.
   There was a boom of thunder and I felt Brahms jump. I looked up to his eyes to try and figure out what was wrong. His heart was pumping and his chest was heaving in and out. I was making him do this. I was making him so apprehensive. Why was I doing this to him? I slowly sat up and scooted away, he eyed me curiously. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have made you do this. You can go." I said biting my lip and looking into his eyes.
   He reached out and tenderly grabbed my arm. "Please don't make me leave Danny. I hate storms too. You are helping  me feel much better." I sat for a second and just looked at him. I didn't know how to react, to I just slowly scooted back into his side and rested my head on his chest.
   Brahms exhaled and quietly said "Thank you." I smiled and shook my head. "No Brahms, thank you. I would have died if you weren't here." I heard a soft laugh from behind the mask and my heart fluttered. I glanced up at him. Moonlight illuminated his mask. From the angle I was laying, I could barely see the edge of his jaw. I wondered what he looked like. He had shaved since I had brought him the things from the store, and sometimes I would catch glimpses of his jaw. By besides that and his eyes, his features were completely concealed by the mask.
   Questions of why he wore it were constantly nagging at me, but I didn't dare ask him about it. I was afraid of what he was capable of when he got mad, and the mask seemed like a touchy subject. So I decided to let it be for now. One day I would get the answers I needed, but for the time being I was going to be patient with him.