Lullaby | Brahms Heelshire |

Chapter 15

For I'm right beside you
   The panic in my chest almost made me collapse as I watched my son's face burn. I quickly pulled the coat off of him and told him to get down and roll on the floor. I screamed for Henry to come help me. He appeared in seconds. The look on his face when he saw Brahms was painful. Flames still burned Brahms face. Fire had consumed the coat in my hands and was beginning to burn me.
   This was a mess. It was all a mess. I watched as Henry grabbed Brahms and rush him to the bathroom. With the coat still in my hands, I broke down. The police were going to take Brahms. They were going to take my Brahms. I could hear his screaming in the other room. The flames dances from the dying coat. An idea came to me quickly. They wouldn't take my son. They wouldn't be able to. Not if he was dead. I quickly tosses the flaming coat into the playroom and watched as the fire immediately began to spread.
   I rushed into the bathroom to find Henry holding a wet rag to our son's face. "Henry," my voice was urgent, "We need to hide Brahms from the police."  My husband's eyes filled with understanding as he saw the flames rising from down the hall.
   We took Brahms to the basement, far from the fire on the top floor. I held an ice cold rag to his poor face as Henry stabbed a hole in the wall, wide enough for Brahms to crawl inside.  When he had finished, he took our son by the shoulders. "Brahms, you must stay in the wall." Henry's voice was very stern. "We are doing this to protect you. You must stay in the wall and hide. If they find you, they will take you."  I looked deeply into my son's eye before speaking. "You must follow this rule Brahms. Stay in the wall. Do not break this rule. Stay in the wall."
   Something changed in his eye that moment and he knew what he had to do. Quickly, we got what we had and bandaged his burnt face as best we could. Then we sent him into the wall and pushed a bookcase across to cover the hole.
   When the police arrived the first three floors were up in flames. The fire department arrived soon after and pulled me and Henry from the house while we were pretending to search for Brahms.
   In the end they put out the fire and never found him. I had done it. My son was dead to the world.
   I saved him.
~*~
   I set the journal down on my desk. I felt weak from all the information I now had. I could read anymore. I just sat at my desk and stared blankly into my hands. Brahms did kill Emily.
   There was a sour feeling in the pit of my stomach. Was she the only one? Or were there others? I thought of the coral dress and wanted to puke.
   I nervously stood up and clumsily walked to the elevator. I needed fresh air. By the time I reached ground floor, my mind was swimming in more questions. I felt like I was drowning in them. I was in shock. Denial. Brahms couldn't have. But he did. He killed a little girl. But that was so long ago. He was young when he did it. What if he changed?
   I burst through the doors into the night air, and leaned on the building so I wouldn't collapse. What now? What do I do? I didn't want to call the police, even though I knew what Brahms had done. Brahms wasn't really responsible. He had a personality disorder. Murder is one thing, but having a personality disorder is another. You aren't a murderer if your sick in the head. Everybody knows that.
   I shivered and hugged myself. All the panic, horror, nausea, and revulsion had turned me cold inside. I leaned my head against the wall and took long slow breaths Asa headache began to pound in my temples. Everything will be okay. That's what I had to tell myself.
   The sound of a car door closing brought me back to reality. I looked up to find Andy sauntering toward me. The way he looked at me made me sick. His eyes slowly crawled up my legs and I cursed myself for wearing this skirt. He disgusted me more than Brahms ever could.
   Andy stepped in front of me and smiled a slick smile. "Danny, stop frowning. I want to see your beautiful smile." He lifted his fingers and gently tiled my chin up so he could get a better look at my face. I felt my skin burn under his gaze and I wanted to punch his nasty face. Hie eyes began to wander down my shirt.
   I turned my face to get his touch off of me. "I'm not in the mood." My voice was sharper than I had anticipated, but I didn't care. I slid out from his social bubble and turned to enter the building. He followed closely behind. I watched his reflection through the glass window admiring the way I walked. I wanted to scream. I stopped walking and spun around. A smile crept back onto his face like I was playing a game he enjoyed. "What do you want?!" I shouted. He just eyed me like I was a piece of candy.
   "Never mind!" I said pivoting. "I don't want to know."
   I clomped up the stairs. Anger was pulsing through my veins. At that moment, it didn't matter what Brahms had done in the past. He was a better person than Andy.
~*~
   When I stepped into the house after I had gotten off of work, I kicked my heels off and groaned. I just wanted today to be done. My hatred for Andy just kept burning inside of me. All I wanted to do was go to bed. I slugged down the hall until I reached the stairs and started to climb. My legs tried so hard not to collapse.
   When I got to my bedroom, all I wanted to do was flop onto my bed. But something that sat on my bed stopped me. I reached for the light switch and tossed my purse onto the floor. With a click, light illuminated the room and I found the Brahms doll sitting on the bed. The list of rules sat in its lap.
   I groaned suddenly remembering that I had left the doll earlier today. Brahms must have been angry with me. I reached over and hastily scooped the doll into my arms. I was too exhausted to handle this right now. I marched down the hall into Brahm's old room, and set the doll on the bed. I spun around and almost ran into Brahms. Real Brahms.
   I would have screamed, but I was too tired. I looked up to find him starring angrily at the doll. I stole a glance at it, and sighed. I really didn't want to talk about this now, but it seemed that I had no other choice. I cleared my throat. "Brahms,"
   Before I could finish he launched himself at me. I cried out in pain as he took tight hold of my shoulders. He lifted me off of the floor. His eyes were hard, cold. For some reason I thought that I could talk him out of his anger. "Brahms stop! Please listen to me." I tried to have a firm voice, but it cracked.
   "You didn't follow the rules!" He screamed a throaty scream.
   Before I could blink, I was flying through the air. Pain exploded all over my back as I crashed into the wall. Stars were floating around in my head. Before I could move Brahms was already at me. Tears began to fall down my face.
   I didn't follow the rules, just like Emily didn't follow the rules. He could kill me. He could end my life right now. He pulled his hand back like he was going to hit me. I leaned as far as I could away from him. My body was pressed to the wall.
   I was so afraid that I didn't notice that Brahms didn't hit me. Shaking, I glanced at him through watery eyes. He say perfectly still, studying me as if he didn't understand what I was doing.
   "Danny." His voice was suddenly calm. And his tone seemed almost curious. I didn't say anything.
   "Danny." He said again as he reached out to touch me. I quickly turned my cheek from him and leaned as far into the walls I could so he couldn't touch me.
   Brahms was angered by my action. He made an animalistic growl and slammed his fist into the wall right above me.
   Sheetrock, and toys from the shelves above toppled down on my head. I shook even more and heard Brahms storm out of the room.
   I looked up to find a huge hole in the wall right above. I glanced back to the door where Brahms had left.
  I should have called the police.
  I should have left the house.
  But instead, I forgave him.