Lullaby | Brahms Heelshire |

Chapter 17

Lullaby, and goodnight, with roses bedight.
   I didn't have to take care of the doll anymore. After an hour of negotiating with Brahms, I told him that we had no need for the doll now that he was around. He did act weird about it at first, because it was the only thing that he had known for 21 years, but he eventually settled in to the idea.
   Now that I didn't have the doll to take care of, I had so much free time at home. So I decided that I would start doing yoga again. I set up a little studio in one of the spare rooms, and went there every morning. Brahms would pop in every once in a while to watch me. Every time, I asked him if he wanted to join, but he would just shake his head. It was cute though because even though he claimed that he didn't want to do it with me, I would spot him in the corner of my eye trying to do the poses behind me. It was adorable how clumsy and persistent he was.
   I hadn't realized how dependent I had become on Brahm's company until he stopped coming around. It all started on a Wednesday before work. I had gotten up and had gone to eat breakfast just as I always did, and was looking forward to see Brahms, But he never showed up. It was odd, since he always loved to be around me, but I didn't have time to look for him because I have to get to work.
   When I got home I expected to see him in the kitchen, making us dinner. That's where he would usually be. But the kitchen was empty, and the house was quiet. I wanted to see him so badly, and I was beginning to worry about him. But I wasn't sure if he was mad at me or not. So I decided to leave him be.
   The next morning I woke up once again to a quiet house. I was still entertaining the idea of him being upset with me, but I had no reason to believe that he would be. I sat on the couch in the quiet living room and was reading one of the books I had gotten for Brahms. As I read, I casually glanced up at the clock on the wall. It was 12:30 and still no sign of Brahms. I couldn't take it anymore. I marked my page in the book and then set it aside. I wasn't going to just sit around all by myself.
   I stood up and shouted his name into the house as loud as I could. my voice skipped between the walls and echoed through the house. Nothing. My heart began to beat quickly. Where was Brahms? Dread washed over me as I walked through the house. "Brahms!" I cried out and began to knock on the walls. I tried looking through each room, and knock on each of the walls.
   I ended up in his old room. The stress was really starting to build on to me. Was he OK? I let out a nervous breath and looked at the Brahms doll that sat on the bed. I stared at the dolls turned head and couldn't help but turn in the direction that it was looking. I found the closet door open and I could see a little bit of light from inside. I gasped and rushed to the closet. Was this an entrance into the walls? I crouched down and looked  to find a small doorway. This was it. I bit my lip and crawled inside. At that moment I didn't care if Brahms got mad at me, I needed to see if he was OK. The space I was in was small and a little cramped. It smelled musty and light was bleeding in from somewhere, so I could vaguely see a narrow staircase ahead. I tried to ignore the terrible smell and Took and a deep breath. "Brahms?" I shouted rather quietly. I shuttered and the rubbed the gooseflesh from my arms. I had a creepy feeling just standing still. I needed to get out of there and find Brahms.
   I examined the confined space to find that the only way to go was up. "Here goes nothing." I muttered under my breath, and began to climb. On my way up I past a bunch of creepy looking lights and pipes that run along the walls. I decided very quickly that I did not like it in the walls. I had no idea how Brahms could have lived in there every day. At the top of the stairs I reached an opening that led down a small Corredor. I stood still and looked around. I felt kind of like I was in a dungeon, looking for a friend and trying not to get caught.
   I took slow steps down the Corredor. "Brahms?" I shouted, and almost jumped at the sound of my own voice. 'Bravo  Danny.' I thought to myself. I reached what looked to be a dead end and just stood looking confused. "Brahms!" I shouted  again, totally prepared to hear my voice that time. Just as I expected, there was no reply. I was about to turn around and go back into the house, when a thick cough sounded from behind me. I turned in the direction of the cough and found a door in front of me.
   I furrowed my brows, how did I don't notice the door before? There was another cough, and hope sparked inside of me. Brahms was on the other side. Without thinking, I pushed the door open and entered the room.
   My jaw dropped, not expecting to see what was inside. What stood before me had the looks of a small apartment. It was a dim room, lit only by a few lamps and some white fairy lights. The room was cluttered everywhere with books and living supplies and it smelt dank and musty. A sink and a mirror  was at my left, and ahead of me there was a microwave that sat atop a refrigerator. Next to it was a stovetop littered with cans of food and all sorts of pans. So this was Brahm's room.
   I stood in shock and forgot what I was doing there for a second, when what sounded more like a wheeze, than a breath came from the far corner of the room. My eyes shot to the sound. There lying on the small sized bed was Brahms. I rushed over to him as quickly as I could. "Brahms?" I asked nervously as I came beside his bed. My heart skip to be at the sight of him. He did not look good.
   His skin was glazed with perspiration, and his dark curly hair was matted to his head with sweat. Every time his chest rose and fell, he made a sound like a leaky tire. I could feel the heat rising from his body and I gulped, trying to swallow my panic.
   I quickly fell to my knees and knelt where his head was laying. "Oh my gosh. Brahms?"'I didn't realize my hands were shaking until I reached out and traced a finger along the line of his mask. "Brahms!" My voice shook as I plead with him. His eyes slowly opened and he weakly looked up at me.  I couldn't help but smile in total relief. "It's OK now. I'm here." I said, trying to comfort him. Instead of a response, he excelled a raspy breath. His eyelids to began to droop. "No no no no no no!" I spoke quickly and nervously, as if I was about to lose him.
   I slipped my hand into his and began planning in my head what I needed to do for him. I didn't need to feel his forhead to deduce that he was having a high fever. My eyes darted around the room. I needed to take him to a bigger space and undress him. I bit my lip and looked at him. Was he well enough to move?
   "OK Brahms", I tried to keep my voice calm, "I'm going to help you. Can you sit up?" He blinked a long blink before he started to slowly move. I placed a hand at the back of his neck to help guide him up. His skin burned against my icy hands and he made a strange groaning sound through the mask.
   Once he was sitting upright, I helped him to his feet. He was so weak it was as if he was walking for the first time. "Oh Brahms!" I cried as I guided his arm around my shoulder so he could use me as a crutch. "I'm so sorry!" I shook my head at my stupidity. "I should have come to find you sooner."
   After a little while, I was able to get Brahms into the living room. I gently laid him onto the couch and then quickly rushed to the kitchen. I searched frantically through my medicine cabinet, knocking down bottles of pills, trying to find some ibuprofen to reduce Brahm's fever. I spotted it in the back and reached mindlessly to grab it. I unscrewed the In one forceful twist and poured about 600 mg into my palm.
   Then I went to where I kept the cups and reached one down from the shelf with my free hand. I whipped on the faucet and let the water run till it was cold, and I filled up the glass. I shut the water off and quickly took the things to Braums. I placed the items into his hands. "Here, you take these, and I will be right back!" I exasperated, and then ran up to my room.
   I flipped my blankets over and pulled my thin sheet from my bed. This is what my parents used to do for me when I had a fever as a child. When I got back downstairs, Brahms had taken his pills and drink some of the water. I went to his side and helped him set up again. "OK Brahms, I'm going to take off your shirt and your pants so that your skin can breathe." His tired eyes went wide. "I know, I know", I explained shaking my head, "it is weird but it really helps."
   I reached for his face and clasped my fingers on the sides of the mask ready to take it off. Brahms's hands shot toward his face and he shouted "no!" With more energy that I thought he had. He swatted my hands away and held the mask tightly to his face. I sighed, hoping that I could make him understand. "Brahms please. You will feel much better if you take the mask off." His eyes were locked on me, burning deeply. He growled a week "Don't touch my mask." Before breaking into a phlegmy cough.
   I was a little frustrated with him but I shook it off. He wasn't ready for me to see his face, and that was OK. I wanted him to show me when he was ready. "OK fine." I told him, reaching for the bottom of his blue flannel shirt. "Just the clothes than" I lifted the shirt over his head and tossed it aside.
   His chest was glossy with sweat. My eyes wandered all over his midsection. I felt like a creep, but I couldn't help it. There was a circular looking scar on his abdomen that caught my eye. I gazed at it curiously and gently brushed my finger over it. Brahms flinched uncomfortably and he scooted ever so slightly away from me.
   "Sorry." I muttered, then reached down to unbuttoned his pants.
   As soon as my fingers came in contact with the fabric, Brahm's knees shot to his chest, forcing my hands away. "I'll do it." He said weakly, reaching for the sheet to cover himself. "Oh..." I said awkwardly, ducking my head so he couldn't see my flushing cheeks.
   After a second, he reached out from under the sheet and handed me his pants, I then tossed them onto the floor next to his shirt. I knelt beside him and we just looked at each other. I gently reached forward and ran my hands through his wet hair to get it out of his eyes. He slowly closed is hazel eyes and I heard him breathe out "thank you Danny." I smiled sweetly and leaned close to his face. I let my lips touch the mask's and tenderly kissed it. Brahms made a small gasping sound that made my heart sing. "Get some rest." I whispered into his ear before I stood up and walked away.