Light and Dark (Lawlight)

Twelve

Two months later.

L was suspecting Light of being Kira less and less as the days went on. Still, he could not let his only suspect go free. The two remained handcuffed to each other and that was that.

L felt like he could actually consider Light a friend. His first ever, real friend. L once told the teenager that he was L's first ever friend, but it was a lie. He was trying to gain the trust of Kira, but now, L wasn't so sure if Light was Kira anymore.

'But if Light isn't Kira, then who is?' L thought to himself. He was beginning to feel like he knew nothing about Kira, and like he wanted Light to be Kira… But then again, he didn't want that at all, and he knew quite a lot about Kira. L was depressed, because he felt like he could be wrong and he didn't want to be wrong. He was never wrong. Ever.

And then he had the other members of the task force were hassling him over and over: 'Ryuzaki, don't you think it's time you let Light free? He cannot be Kira,' and 'Ryuzaki, Light can't be Kira; more people are being killed and Light has been in our sight the whole time.'

Then L would argue: 'We don't know how he kills,' and 'We can't release him because he's still my suspect,' and even 'He could be deceiving us all. He can probably plan their deaths in advance.'

And then Light would be upset because L didn't trust him, and the task force members would leave him alone about it for a day or two before they were right back at it again, as if his answers would change.

Currently, L and Light were sitting in their shared room. Light was sprawled out across the bed, feeling extremely tired and L was sitting in the chair, typing, and feeling depressed like he had been.

He hadn't slept in days. He couldn't get any. And when he did sleep, he always slept in the chair beside the bed. He would not sleep next to Light in bed, despite the boy's protests about it. Light argued that there's no way L could be comfortable in the chair all the time, and L would argue that he was fine where he was, and Light shouldn't complain because it was in no way affecting him.

Light had merely scoffed.

But Light would still try to get the detective to relax a bit, by attempting to coax L from the chair each night, at least.

And it was about time for Light to start trying.

"Ryuzaki," Light uttered as he sat up on the bed. L's eyes flickered to the boy and remained on him.

"Yes, Light-kun?"

"Are you going to sleep in bed tonight?" The teenager asked softly.

"No, I wasn't planning on it," L murmured, letting his eyes fall upon his computer again. "I haven't been able to sleep the last couple of nights."

Light sighed. "L," he uttered, instantly causing L's head to turn in the teenager's direction. "Please, come to bed and try to sleep. Please." Light was practically begging the detective.

L pondered it for a few moments before nodding quickly and getting up. Light scooted over and made room and L climbed into bed, under the covers, getting comfortable and facing the boy.

"Thank you," Light breathed as he made himself comfortable as well. He noticed L had his knees to his chest and his thumb in his mouth, and honestly he wasn't surprised.

L nodded and turned to lay on his back, looking up at the ceiling. Light propped himself up on one elbow and looked down at the insomniac.

"See, it's not so bad, right?"

L shrugged. "No, I suppose not," he murmured, eyes still fixed on the ceiling.

"You don't want to change or something before you get too comfortable?"

L sighed and shook his head. "No," he murmured, looking at Light. "I'm already too comfortable. And don't you remember? I'm shy. And besides, I'll be alright."

"I'd look away if you wanted, but you don't have to be shy," Light whispered, using his free hand to push the hair in front of L's eyes to the side, but the hair just fell back in place. "You're beautiful."

L snorted and rolled his eyes. "Very funny, Light-kun. I'm nowhere close."

"It's true," Light insisted, frowning. "You are."

"No, Misa is," L argued, biting on his thumb. "I'm as unattractive as it gets."

"Don't put yourself down, Ryuzaki. It saddens me."

"I'm only speaking the ugly truth, Light-kun."

"But it's not the truth to me…" Light whispered almost inaudibly, looking into L's eyes.

The two held each other's gaze for several moments, not saying anything.

Then suddenly, Light was leaning down ever so close to L's face, his eyes no longer on the insomniac's, but his lips.

L was beginning to panic. 'I should not be in this position at all,' he kept thinking, as his heart began pounding harder in his chest as his breath hitched slightly.

Light was slowly getting so much closer, his eyes falling closed as he leaned in to kiss his friend.

L turned his head away and stared at the wall. "We should try to rest," he said, biting his lip, his face flushed. Light halted and blinked a few times, just before moving away and laying on his back beside the insomniac.

Twice. That was twice he tried to kiss his friend on the lips like he so desired, and twice he failed. He didn't really count the cheek kiss as anything in this situation. He was upset by the fact he was kind of rejected and came to a sudden realization.

'Wait, what if he doesn't like me like I like him? I never asked him about the kind of people he was attracted to… I just assumed he… well, liked guys… How stupid of me… He could like Misa for all I know!'

Light suddenly felt sad that his feelings were most likely not returned. He craved love and affection and the only one who could give it to him was Misa. He figured he'd just ask her to make love to him or perhaps spend some time with him or something when he and L were separated, despite the fact Light didn't really love her. He thought about calling Takada from Tou-oh but he didn't really want her…

He wanted L. And he couldn't have him.

"Oh, o- of course," Light uttered, turning away from L altogether. A couple of tears slipped down his cheeks but he ignored them. "Goodnight, Ryuzaki."

"Goodnight, Light-kun," the insomniac replied, and turned so his back was facing Light, laying on the edge of the left side of the bed.

He felt slightly bad, which was adding to his depression. He wasn't sure if he had hurt Light's feelings or just mildly embarrassed him or something, or maybe Light was unaffected completely, but he still felt bad regardless.

But Light had Misa, who was beautiful and sweet and, despite the fact that she was not so bright, perfect for Light. L, however, was not attractive or anything. He was not sweet and bubbly like Misa. He felt people viewed him as an unattractive, cold, obnoxious, annoying, emotionless and uncaring insomniac detective who insists he's always right, has odd quirks, eats so many sweets that he should have died of diabetes by now (or at least gained a lot of weight), and thinks he is justice.

The list could go on.

And perhaps they were all right about him. L knew there was some details that should have been in the list, such as the fact that L was an orphan since he was extremely young (even though he never told anyone), and he practically has Watari do everything for him, and probably more that L couldn't think of, as he was very tired at this point.

But there was one thing that nobody seemed to understand about him; L was only human, and no human has ever been perfect.

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Heyy there's one more update today ♡