More Than This

12 - Amber

Song of the chapter - We Belong by Pat Benetar

I watched as Matt drove away, feeling...off. That was a strange conversation to say the least. He had changed so much, and he seemed to think it was because of me. But it wasn't me at all. He never would have made any of those connections if it hadn't been for one afternoon behind the cafeteria. If Garrett hadn't have stepped in and knocked him out, I might still be with Matt, and he would most likely still be the jerk he'd been before.

My bare feet wiggled in the grass on my front lawn, still damp from the morning dew as I remained in front of my house, looking towards where Matt had driven away. I hugged myself, feeling so conflicted after speaking with him. Suddenly my emotions were a mess. He had wanted to be with me, partly because he saw me as someone who had helped him change. Wasn't that part of the reason I now had feelings for Garrett?

My brain started to second guess every moment Garrett and I had spent together. Maybe he had been so open with me just to make me see what I had gotten myself into. Maybe the hand holding was for comfort or encouragement. Maybe the hugs were just to make me feel better. What if all of this time I had been falling for him, but he just saw me as a weak girl that needed saving.

April had spent the morning with me asking all kinds of questions about our date. Thinking about the night before created more confusion. Was it really a date? Did he just say that because I had asked him if it was?

But then I remembered how he wanted to create good memories with me and I tried to shake off the confusion. I had to stop second guessing everything and just let things happen naturally. I needed to relax.

Since it was a long weekend and I had no real plans, I decided to take a walk. That had always helped clear my head, especially when music was involved. I went back into the house to put my shoes on and grab my phone and ear buds.

"Mom, I'm going on a walk." I called to her.

She came around the corner from her room, "That's fine. Is everything ok?" She had a worried expression after seeing Matt at the door.

"Yeah, its good. He was fine. I just want some fresh air, I shouldn't be very long."

She waved me off and I got some music going. My feet hit the pavement and moved me forward as I let my mind focus on the song. I headed towards the local park, it being one of my favorite places to sit. It was close enough to go frequently, and it was a quiet place to think most of the time.

In a few minutes I was at the open grass area of the park, and a dozen steps later I was at the swings. Swinging had always been such a soothing activity, I mean that's why little babies have swings. It literally puts them to sleep. So as I swung back and forth, my mind calmed down and my happiness from the night before returned. I was anxious to see Garrett again, but I had no idea when that would be. He and Nico were deep into their current restoration project and tended to spend long hours working.

As I started to remember my hand in Garrett's and the look he gave me right at the end of our date, I felt my phone buzz with a text.

Hey, where r u rn? - April

At the park. Y? - Amber

Just curious, Doll. See ya later ;-) - April

That was weird, I thought to myself, but remained on the swing enjoying the playlist I had on shuffle. My legs continued their motion pushing me higher each time. I liked the little drop in my stomach as the swing fell back to Earth. A few songs later, my phone buzzed again.

Turn around - April

What?

Not having a clue why she would send that, I slowed my swing and soon came to a stop. Without getting off of the swing, I turned around and saw nothing but a beat up car parked right by the swings. However, something inside the car caught my attention. I decided to get off of the swing so I could face it fully.