13. | every single second

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November came, laying out a damp chill over the grounds surrounding the prison

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November came, laying out a damp chill over the grounds surrounding the prison. Two weeks went by since the court in which I witnessed for Ethan's innocence in the case that included the attack on me.

Somehow, I connected with Ethan the first time our eyes crossed. I connected to him on the first sight and that's how I began believing wholeheartedly in his innocence, without properly hearing his side of the story. I gave him time; I gave him trust. Only to be completely perplexed with the 'reality' in front of an entire crowd, the version of the reality the district attorney believes in and threw at me on the spot. Saying I was not prepared for that, would be a severe understatement.

Every fiber in me screamed for me to continue believing in his innocence, and I did. Yet, this time it had hit too close to home. I couldn't just accept his innocence. Maybe because that means that my mother's murderer has been wandering around freely for over three years now. Maybe because that means that person could have walked by me without me noticing. Maybe I had crossed that person in the streets and greeted them with one of my sincere smiles and a kind greet.

The thought of it felt like it was there solely to destroy me. I can't let that happen. I have to get to the bottom of it. I have to know why and how Ethan was blamed. I need to believe him without a single doubt and fight for not only his injustice, but mostly for my mother. The person who put her six feet under in such a horrific way, has to be put behind bars for a lifetime.

I will not rest until I am sure that they are.

I can't help but deeply wish I would have found out in a different way. A sudden amount of pressure and shock washed over me as the district attorney told me the truth.

"Not even the fact that he, the man you are witnessing for today, is your mother's murderer?"

His truth, at least. I hope. I really do.

Ethan didn't look me in the eye when those words were spoken. Was it because he somehow felt guilty, nevertheless? Guilty for not telling me earlier what his case was about? I told him it could wait. That he could tell me whenever he felt ready. Was I to blame? Have I been too naïve? He and I both know that my words would have been different if I had known that his case was the one of my mother's murder.

None of it made sense but made sense at the same time. Reed found a razor blade in Ethan's pocket in front of me, out of the blue. Michael kept repeating that he had to do it, almost as if someone was forcing him to do it. Was it all just to add up to the persona the attorney has created for Ethan, to make the entire story of him being a cold-blooded murderer even more believable? Did Reed know more about all of this? What does my father have to do with this entire situation? Are they all in this together?

Surprising both the district attorney and myself, I disregarded all of the questions that flooded my mind right that second and continued to witness for Ethan's innocence regarding the stabbing incident. The entire court went by in a blur after that. The jury finally came with a decision and declared Ethan not guilty of wounding me, mainly because I, the victim, spoke on behalf of him to defend his innocence. The defense was able to let out a relieved breath and I noticed Ethan turning around to see me. However, Lexi and I immediately left because I felt like I was getting suffocated. I was able to dodge my father as well and slept at Lexi's place for the entire week.

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