? I Will Take Care Of You ?

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"Hey Shane, I know it's been a while, hasn't it, buddy?" Ryan sat down on the dirt next to the grave stone, despite the fact that the wind was wiring and the grass was muddy.

Ryan placed his head in his hands, smiling to himself as he remembered something.

"I had a good day at work, I met this guy who likes me but I'm not sure if I like him back," Ryan chuckled to himself. "I guess I should give him a chance. I mean, compared to you he's nothing, but my therapist told me not to compare people to you," Ryan looked at the wording that was ingrained into the black marble.

"Sad how you didn't get to come to work today though, but I know that even if you were there you still would complain," Ryan smirked through tears. "I love you a lot, I really do." Ryan wiped tears from his eyes with his shaky hands, tilting his head back to stop the tears before staring at the stone again. "I was thinking about killing myself," Ryan announced. "Thinking about taking a few pills, maybe jump from a bridge, just so I can see you again, just so you can hold me with your big arms. Just so you can tell me how much of a dork I am."

"I think I might do it tonight, I think I'll rush home and take your pills that you had for Leukemia, I know you didn't finish your last bottle." Ryan bit his lip and closed his eyes, trembling in sadness and in pain.

"Don't..." a soft whisper made Ryan jump.

He opened his eyes only to meet face to face with Shane Madej himself.

"Shane!" Ryan screamed, not caring if any of this made sense or not.

Ryan wrapped his arms around Shane's cold body, enjoying the feeling of his contact. Shane looked down at the shorter, sighing as he ran his fingers through the dark locks.

"Don't kill yourself," Shane whispered as he lifted Ryan's head with his finger.

"W-why not," Ryan sniffled as he held tighter to Shane, thinking that if he didn't hold on tight enough, the taller would disappear. "I wanna be with you," Ryan whispered.

"You are with me, I'm holding you right now, see?" Shane gripped the younger harder and pulled him to his lap.

"But what about when you leave, what about that!?" Ryan exclaimed as he huddled his head in Shane's cold chest.

"I'll always be with you Ryan, I will always take care of you." Shane assured.

"But-"

"No buts, and go on a date with Brent, he's a good guy and he'll take care of you, okay?"

"How do you know it was Brent?" Ryan asked, choking back tears as Shane's body got colder and colder.

"Like I said, I will always take care of you," Shane purred, petting Ryan's head.

"Promise?" Ryan's voice was shaky as he felt Shane's body nearly freeze under him.

"I promise," Shane replied.

And just like that, Ryan opened his eyes to see he was laying on the ground against the cold mud, crying, screaming, begging for Shane to come back. He yelled and screamed and carried on until he passed out in the cold mud next to Shane's tomb stone.

Shane Madej
'A loving husband and a special friend'
May 16th, 1986 - Dec. 25th 2017

Word Count: 569

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