❝Sure, whatever helps you sleep at night.❞
❝That would be you.❞
❝You're a smooth motherfucker, aren't you?❞
In which Nico desperately needs advice and finds a payphone, but he has nobody to call.
And then the payphone rings.
And Nico answers.
And ov...
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"I know more about Niffy than I do you. What's the sitch, Nessa?"
"I'd rather not reveal any information about myself to a stranger that takes the time out of his day to come to a payphone in the dead of night and intercept my private phone calls."
"I'm not a stranger anymore, and it's hardly private if you're calling a public payphone. Plus... it's worth it."
"Instead of learning about me, how about you learn about my problems?"
"I'll take what I can get."
"Great, because I actually really need to vent. Basically, my mom is a therapist, right? She has her own clinic downtown, and majority of her patients are teens like me."
"Aha! I've now learnt that you are a teenager. My guess is sixteen, seventeen?"
"And sometimes she likes to tell me about her patients, obviously not disclosing any personal information because that is quite illegal—"
"Yes, quite."
"But she likes to tell me stories about patients that are doing really well. And recently, one of these said teenage patients found a love interest."
"Ah, teenage love. A mix of puberty, body odor, and clammy hands. What more could you want?"
"And this guy apparently keeps raving on about this girl he's been talking to, online I think, since they've apparently never met, and how she understands him so well and helps him through all his problems. He's like this love-sick puppy."
"I've always wanted a girl-friendapist."
"I see what you were trying to do, but it didn't work."
"I'm trying my best."
"Anyways, now my mom's constantly on ass about how my teenage years are me at my peak, and if I don't 'trap' one now, I won't be able to 'get one in my clutches' when I'm older. It's so superficial of her, and I hate it."
"One?"
"A boyfriend."
"Well, maybe there's one waiting for you right around the corner. You never know."
"Hah! Yeah, sure. It's just annoying that she thinks I need a boy to feel good about myself. Ugh, whatever, I don't need no man! Anyways, thanks for listening to me rant, Nico."
"Anytime. Preferably one a.m. though, because that's the only time we talk."
"...will you... um... will you be here tomorrow? I know it'll be a Friday night and you probably have places to b—"
"Aw, would you miss me?"
"God dammit. Forget it. Goodnight, Nico."
"Goodnight, Nessa."
"..."
"See you tomorrow."
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kim possible was honestly the fuel for my life I was gay for shego
