❝Sure, whatever helps you sleep at night.❞
❝That would be you.❞
❝You're a smooth motherfucker, aren't you?❞
In which Nico desperately needs advice and finds a payphone, but he has nobody to call.
And then the payphone rings.
And Nico answers.
And ov...
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"Hi, Nico. Welcome to Day 1 of Nessa's Shitty Life."
"Can't possibly be shitty if I'm in it, considering the fact that I happen to know I'm the light of your fucking life."
"On the contrary, you're actually the spawn of Satan."
"I don't understand why I can't be both?"
"You've caused a recent problem in my life, Nico."
"Judging by your serious tone, I'm going to take a wild guess and say the problem isn't that you can't stop fantasizing about my delicious bod."
"Actually, you're not far off. My mum has decided to eavesdrop on our phone calls and is convinced you're the love of my life."
"I'm really not seeing the problem here? Are you trying to insinuate that I'm in fact not?"
"She won't get off my ass about you! She's asking for your name, your weight, your favorite color, sport, subject, everything! She asked me if we've had sex, Nico! Sex!"
"As much as I am enjoying you screaming the word 'sex' into my ear, I just want to ask why you aren't telling her anything? My mami, for one, knows every single detail about you."
"She what??"
"I've told her everything about you. I'm a mama's boy, Nessa."
"Well, that's all fine and dandy for you, mama's boy. But I, Nessa, am not a mama's girl. In fact, I am not a daddy's girl, either. Now that I think about it, I might not even be a girl."
"Okay, it's definitely my turn to start asking questions."
"Y'know, I really thought that Client Lover Boy would be enough of a disaster to keep her off my back."
"Why? Did something happen to my homeboy? My bro? My broboy? My bromate?"
"Apparently he found out that he and his online victim have someone in common and he isn't sure if he can look past it, even though he's basically in love with the girl he's talking to."
"Why would the person in common affect his feelings for her?"
"They don't. He's worried that she'll never see him the way he wants her to because of them."
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i've missed nessa and nico so much omg it feels so good to be writing again
