Beautiful Mistake

We Went To Far

I was receving a lot of notfications when I opened my Wattpad app , and I've realized I didn't update . So here I am , sitting in front of my laptop , updating at midnight . ok (:

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It's been a month already , and Austin was coming back TODAY .

You have no idea what a mess I've been this whole entire month .

FLASHBACK

I went to school like the usual , and when I walked into biology , I saw Alex and the " REST " . I walked up to them .

" Hey , have you heard from Austin ? " I asked them . None of them answered me , and it seems as if I'm just not there . I put my hands in front of there conversation , and I was only shoved away from Alex .

" Don't you see we're quite busy right now ?" Robert said harsly . I can feel the tears forming but I just nodded and sat two rows ahead of them . Why is it like I'm being ignored . Why is it like I'm not even in this world anymore ?

Anyways, when it was time for lunch , I sat alone in the booth . When the " POPULAR JERKS " walked by .

" LONER "

" NO ONE WANTS YOU "

" LOSER "

All those means words just hit me , over and over . I just turned around , and layed on my forearm .

and thought about all the things that I have on my mind at the moment .

" What have I done to this world ? "

" What did I do ? "

FLASHBACK ENDED .

Right now , I'm not even going to plan on going to the airport to get Austin .

I looked out my window , seeing Alex and Robert getting in his car . I went on Instagram , to TRY to check on Mahone's page .

123 posts , but it didn't show me any . I tried to follow him , and from then on , I knew I was blocked from his instagram . I got so angry , so confused , so sad . Everything was just falling apart at the moment

3 hours later

I looked at my wrist , and tooked out a thin sweater and wore it , and just sat at my porch . It was so peaceful and painful . I looked at my wrist , and there were 6 lines . I wanted to tear up , this was totally the Hanna I knew 1 year ago . I heard a car pull up , and saw Alex's car .

I wanted to run , but I couldnt . I just sat there and looked at each of my EX friends step out . I wish I was in that car too .

they looked at me and just walked away .

When I saw Austin , I walked up to him .

" Austin , can we talk ? " i asked . I was rubbing my wrist , it was just too painful to hold .

" mhm " he made a gesture for the crew to go in first .

" how was Japan ? " i asked trying to change the subject hoping he would talk to me .

" good " he said not even looking me in the eyes .

I just nodded , and all I wanted to do was hug him , but it will just make everything awkward .

" Why did you block me on instagram " i chuckled , hoping he will say it was an accident , but he said something that hurted me more than ever .

" I-I don't know . Maybe it's time for a break , I dont know Hanna . I have to go " he said giving me a pat and jogging up on the porch .

I couldn't take this anymore , and just ran home . I started to look through the shelves , trying to find an escape .

I saw the razor i cutted myself with eariler , and some sleeping pills .

I've did this so many times , and no one EVER cared .

I lifted up my sweater , and and cutted more , and on my legs . blood was just dripping on the ground . Nothing can stop this pain , nothing .

I layed on my tub , and swallowd the sleeping pills , and the eyes started to close TIGHTLY . and i just wish i can sleep FOREVER . \

Austin's POV

We were fixing everything up for Hanna's birthday. yes , this is why we are pretending to be mad at her . and her mood would change all of a sudden , i love her and i hope she understands . I know she probably will have a few tears fall , but i hope she will have tears of joy once she see this surprise

We heard an ambulance pulled up right in front of Hanna's house .

" What happened ?" i questioned .

" let's go out " Alex said .

We went out , and i saw the most horrfying thing ever . I saw Hanna ... her legs was bleeding , and her arms .

I ran upstairs to her mother , and the bathroom looked like a murder scene .

" WHAT HAPPENED ?" I asked .

" I knew I shouldn't of let her stick with you . Don't ever get near my daughter again , and i mean every single one of you " she said pointing at all of US .

She shoved me a paper , and i read it .

Dear Mother ,

I'm so sorry to disapoint you . I love you to death , everything's been such a mess. No matter how bad you've treated me before , I still love you . I love you .. forever . And I hope you find someone that makes you happy soon . I'll be here with you , in your heart . I can't stand this pain , and I feel like .. there are billion people out here . No one will notice I've left . I have no friends , everyone's ignoring me . I'm just a loser to them . This pain has been bothering me for me for a month . WHY ? What have I done ? I'm just not perfect , and i can't find A SINGLE REASON why I should be alive . I JUST LOST MY BATTLE , IM A DISAPPOINTMENT , IM SORRY THAT I WAS MISPLACED .

- HANNA

I looked at the guys .

I was wrong , it wasn't just a few tears , it caused death .

" We w-ent t-t-oo far " i said chocking the words out .

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THIS WAS SO DRAMATIC . SORRY . <3

Anyways , you know the reason .

&&& I'm sorry for the mistakes . It late right now , I'm suppose to be asleep but I manged to update . BYE LOVELYS .