Subway Cars & Lonely Hearts

twentyone/irl/

italics ~ elliot

underline ~ grace

saturday may 5th 6:22 am est

elliot and grace sat on their fire escape, watching the sun rise above their city. 

elliot sat in a faded, oversized gray t-shirt from when she had run track in high school and plaid shorts, her hand buried deep in a bag of fruity pebbles. grace sat right beside her picking at a packet of s'mores pop tarts. 

the girls had since sobered up and had just run the many empty bottles of wine down to the dumpster behind their building. 

"gray" elliot mumbled, the words falling hesitantly from her lips, "what happens now?"

"what do you mean?"

"we graduated, now we're broke and unemployed. you know what i mean? we're adults now, how the fuck do you adult?" she gestured to their mismatched clothing and kindergartener-esque breakfast. "at least you picked a good major, you can do anything with your business degree. what did i think i was going to do with an english degree? i totally just wasted four years of my life, oh my god."

grace had been surprised when this anxious and petrified side of her best friend had peeked out for the first time at the start of freshman year. 

elliot had always had the reputation of being the happy go lucky, fun loving girl on campus, so when grace noticed elliot was constantly slipping out of their room in the middle of the night she assumed elliot was going to meet a boy or something of the sort. 

when curiosity had gotten the best of grace a couple weeks into the year, she had followed elliot outside, not expecting to see her roommate simply sitting on the steps of their building with glassy eyes and uneven breaths. 

behind her bubbly exterior, elliot was worrying herself sick about maintaining the grades she needed for her scholarship, irrationally thinking that all her new friends secretly hated her, and stressing out about every other reason under the sun.

elliot had simply been leaving their room because she was so overwhelmed that she couldn't sleep.   

grace, without a word, sat down next to her and put an arm around her shoulder. 

and that was where their friendship began. 

grace eventually learned that no matter what she did or said, she couldn't miraculously cure elliot when she was having one of her episodes. elliot would withdraw into her self, barely eating or sleeping, faking a smile for most people, and then finally letting her guard down at home.

and while grace did help shorten these episodes by always knowing how to cheer her best friend up and make her laugh, it was elliot who always managed to slip herself out of it after a day or two. 

when the girls had moved out of the dorms junior year and into their apartment, on the rare occasion elliot was having one of her bad days, she no longer had the luxury of being able to sit on the steps in the middle of the night (because in their current neighborhood, that would probably result in her getting murdered). so,  elliot would sometimes spend her night on the very fire escape they were currently sitting on. 

over time, these episodes had became more and more infrequent. freshman year, she had had at least a dozen, but as of the current day, elliot had not had one in over a year.

grace looked over at elliot, proud of how strong her best friend had become, and finally answered her question, "i don't know what we're gonna do, but we'll figure it out ellie, it's you and me against the world."  

elliot tapped her handful of fruit pebbles against grace's half-eaten pop tart in a sort of toast, "well then here's to the world having to watch out."