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In the land of gods and monsters I was an angel
The recovery has been hard. Although all of my vitals and all other tests have come out better than they were previously to my disappearance, I haven't had one good night of sleep since I woke up.
It's peculiar, I'll wake up in the middle of the night to my own screams and squirms. I can feel claws ghosting along my spine as I sleep or harsh whispers I don't understand turning into yells and the woods consuming me. The worst part? I still have no recollection of that night. I have no idea what any of my dreams or weird emotions that come over me mean. Huh, I sound like a boy going through puberty.
The doctors say it's normal for missing kids to black out during their time off grid, but I know that's a code term for trama. It's normal for a person's own brain to block out traumatic expediences. So, what happened to me while I was gone?
That thought kept me awake at night and distant during the day. I try to act indifferent when Stiles is around in order to not scare the kid or not to worry Noah. Yet, at the moment with Queen humming lowly on my record player and my makeup laid out in front of me I couldn't help but feel like I wanted to cry.
"Fuck." I muttered as my shaky hands messed up my thin winged eyeliner. I threw the cosmetic onto my brown desk. Scurrying out of my seat and to my underwear drawer where I searched almost desperately for a pack of cigarettes I brought them from home. I always thought smoking was revolting but sometimes I resorted to it.
I closed my eyes, taking my first inhale and exhale. Feeling my nerves dim just enough to allow me to finish getting ready to return to school without another break down.
I stared at my reflection long and hard. Staring at the now perfect winged eyeliner and sculpted dark brows. I felt completely void after what happened that night in the woods, but I physically looked so much better.
My brows were more arched. My eyes that were usually a mud brown were now a intimidating piercing black. My cheekbones higher, nose more upturned, my face all in all looked slimmer making my bone structure more noticeable, unlike before where I had the facial structure of a dumbling. My lips were now plump and a deep blood red. Skin blemish free and about as fair and lifeless as porcelain. My waist was smaller and flat (Which by the way had never happened before), and even my bosom and hips had seemed to swell nicely. Unlike my usual figure that on a normal day even Stiles had more curves than me. I had never considered myself pretty, however now I looked regal in a sort of void fashion. Like some kind of lifeless portrait. Alluring but without a heart.
Needless to say being pretty sucked. Yeah, I never thought I'd say that either.
I hopped out of Emma's car, shouldering my book bag keeping my head down to shield my face from the peering eyes. Every single pair of eyes was on me from the moment Emma and I drove into town.
