I am the Skeleton in the Closet

The Fat, The Ugly and The Drug To Cure It

The biggest escape I had from the day to day fighting was color guard. It was one of the few times I could actually get some peace and quiet. My job took up a little over twenty hours a week, and when I didn't have work I was at guard practice or school. My schedule was booked from six am 'til ten pm most days. If I ever happened to have a day off I'd fill it with either hanging out with Eric or more guard practicing in my yard with Brad, Laura, and Mae; but in the end if they came over we'd do more baking than practicing. On the off chance that I hadn't planned anything that day, I'd stay out practicing for hours at a time listening to music and thinking about anything and everything. Once it got too dark to see the flag I would head inside.

"Get off the couch and go exercise or you'll get fat." Mom would yell as soon as I sat down, blanketed in sweat. "Oh looks like you're putting on some weight better start eating healthier." She'd tac on when I'd try to ignore the comment. "Wow. I'm really surprised you haven't gotten fat off of all of those snacks lately." She'd add in a few minutes later. "Don't eat when you're watching TV. You'll get fatter." She'd exclaim as I grabbed my first snack of the day after school. "You're soooo lazy better get up and move." She'd hassel once I got up to shower. "Elise go for a walk so you stop building up that fat on your belly." She'd instruct as I plopped on the couch again after my shower. "Looks like all those clothes are getting tight on you. Maybe we need to bump you up a few sizes now that you're eating so unhealthy." She'd nag as I turned the TV on again.

I already know I'm fat. I already know that I'm going to die alone. That no one will love me in a few years when my face scars from the acne I can't control. At this point all you're doing is rubbing it in. Hopefully Eric sees it the same way, neither of us could do better than the other. Who am I kidding, he could do better than me. It's just a matter of time before he realizes that, once he sees my true self he'll leave for sure. Then I'll be all on my own. Forever. Without a friend to call my own. I sighed as I sat zoned out in front of the brightly flashing cartoons. All the while mom affirming my beliefs from the kitchen.

The topical cream that the dermatologist had prescribed wasn't working like it was supposed to so mom found a new doctor for me. This dermatologist was located on the complete opposite side of town. It was a modest brick building with a grey pointed roof, like most offices there were few different entrances to different practices. The overall office was a nice white beige mix with random colorful pillows in the waiting room. A thin granite slab protruded in front of the receptionists window. I checked in for the appointment then we were called back a few minutes later.

"What brings you in today?" She looked towards me

"She just has horrible acne. We've tried everything to get rid of it. She's going to get scars from it if she keeps letting it get this bad. We just want to fix her face." Mom butted in for me so I just shrugged and let my arms fall about my knees.

"Oh ok. Is it th-?" She motioned towards my birthmark with some concern.

"That's a birthmark." I answered quickly. Typical.

"You sure you don't want them to do anything about that?" Mom looked at me with her brow furrowed upwards. "Cuz we were talking ab-"

"Nope." I stared straight down as she shot a look at the dermatologist conveying that she didn't agree.

"Ok... well you seem to have an oily face." She started. "There is this new treatment that just came out that I think will work for you. It's called isotretinoin. It actually reforms the pores in your face to stop things from getting stuck in them and causing acne."

"Oh tell us about that!" Mom exclaimed excitedly.

"Yeah. So it actually is a cure for acne, usually people just treat the symptom but this actually affects the root cause of the problem and fixes it for you so you'll never have to worry again!" She sounded so salesey.