My Hart

Chapter 20

As our breathing began to return to normal, realization was becoming clear. I grabbed fresh bikini and hurriedly got dressed. I can't believe I went against everything I've ever said. I knew I was sitting myself up for heartache, but why couldn't I stop? I knew the warm feelings were trouble, but I slept with him anyway. What is wrong with me? I had to fight harder, to not let this happen again no matter how amazing it feels right now. I couldn't become my mother. I just wouldn't.

"Can I just say that you are my new best friend."  Ayden joked with his eyes closed. A worried look took over his face when he looked at me. "Hey, what's wrong?" He asked sitting straight up.

"Nothing. I need to go for a swim and cool off." I said throwing a shirt over my head.

"That sounds good. I'll go with you." His stupid beautiful eyes sparkled.

"Hurry, before they get back." I unzipped the tent making a mad dash for the water. I threw off my shirt and shorts, placing them on my towel that was still down there. I dove in the water just as Ayden made it down the hill. 

 I swam. I swam trying to erase his touch, his moans. I was going to swim until my mistake was carried away by the lake.

"Mak,tell me what's really wrong. Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you?" He asked after pulling me out of the water. The look on his face almost crumbled the wall I was currently trying to build around me.

"No, unfortunately you did everything just right." I huffed.

"So, then what's the problem?" He questioned.

"First off, I'm mad at myself for breaking my own rule.  Second, I really hoped you would suck so I wouldn't want to do it again."

"Well, I sorry that I disappointed you.  Honestly, I'm glad you want to do it again."  He smiled.

"Just because I want too doesn't mean we will.  We shouldn't have." I said as I closed my eyes and shook my head.

"Why?  We are two consenting adults who want the same thing.  What's wrong with that?" He gripped my face making me look at him.

"I don't want things to change between us.  I really like hanging out with you when you're not being a dick." I teased.

"The only thing that is going to change is I'm no longer going to wonder what it would be like to fuck you.  Now when I see you, I'm going to be thinking about how to get you to do it again."  He teased back earning a teasing slap on the shoulder from me.

"I thought it would ease the sexual tension."  I said shaking my head.

"Yeah, that didn't work."  He smiled.

"You have to promise me, we won't let things get weird. We are just friends with benefits.  First sign that things are going to change, we end it.  Promise?"

"Promise."  He held up his hand as if to signal scout's honor.

"And we can't be this stupid about it again.  We could have totally gotten caught."

"That's part of the fun."  He smirked.

"Ayden!"  I said shocked.

"I'm teasing, kind of.  I agree, they would automatically read too much into."

"Last rule.  You cannot brag about it with the guys, even if you leave my name out of it.  You can brag about any of your other conquest, just not me."

"So, this isn't like an exclusive friend with benefits type thing?" He asked.  I couldn't quite figure out what the look on his face meant.

"No, you can be with who you want.  I may not want to hear about or be compared to the others, but we are just friends, right?"