Pucking Fantastic

Chapter 25: I Saw Him

Song is for the start of the chapter!

I laid in an a strange bed as someone pushed me through the halls of the hospital. I shrunk deeper into the bed the more we traveled, deeper into the building, far away from my family, and anything that was familiar to me. 

I felt so uncomfortable with the whole moment. I just wanted to close my eyes and pretend that this wasn't happening. I didn't want to go through this. I didn't want to have cancer. I wanted to be at school.

I remembered how I waved to my parents one last time before they took me away. I felt completely alone even though my parents and brothers were waiting for me. But I was the only one going under the knife. I was the only one with messed up genes. I was completely and utterly alone and there would be no way that they would understand me.

I was pushed through a set of doors into a room with blue-tiled floors and walls. It was plain and simple except for the medical equipment that scattered the room. I felt my eyes well up with tears as fear took hold. There was no going back now. I have arrived. "Ellis da Souza?" One of the doctors asked in a deep voice with his mouth covered.

I nodded as I looked at the figure looming over me. He intermediated me as his dark eyes stared at me. "Yes," I said, unable to force anything else out of my mouth.

He nodded as he turned to one of the other doctors. He whispered something to them and they nodded back. The one he was talking to walked up to me and looked at the white band around my thin wrist. "Everything will be ok dear. Just count back from 100," she said kindly.

I nodded as I started to count backwards. I closed my eyes as they became heavy. 99, 98, 97... and I was out.

Instantly, there was darkness and silence. It was as if I was in a long night's sleep. I have no idea how long I slept for but slowly after I have no idea how long, I felt my sleep starting to fade. The first thing I was aware of was the sound of crying. I heard Paulo crying. He sounded so distraught.

"Oh El, I've been holding this in for so long. I'm so tired of suppressing it and keeping it a secret," he said to me. I felt him grabbed my hand. He squeezed it. His soft warm hands seemed to wrap my cold hand in a hug.

I wanted to squeeze back but my hand wouldn't allow for it. With sleep still having a stronghold on me, I couldn't move. But I wanted to comfort him. I wanted to hold him and tell him that I was listening and that I loved him. I hardly ever heard Paulo get emotional or cry about anything. In fact, I think it only happened a hand full of times within the last 5 years, one of which I was the cause of, but I didn't want to get into those details now.

He gave a pained and tired sigh. I heard his foot tap on the floor as he always did when he was nervous or thinking about something in great detail. "El, I think I'm bisexual," he whispered, fearing other people would hear. "I've known for years but I can't tell this to mom and dad, I think they would be disappointed in me. I don't know how long I can hold onto this secret. It is eating into me." I could hear such concern in his voice.

Pulling a word right out of Kris' handbook, I had to. Puck... I didn't see this coming. However, regardless of this information, I loved him. I would always love him. In fact, I think I loved him more now knowing this than I did yesterday. 

For the first time ever, I saw Paulo as more then just a big brother. I understood him in ways that I never thought I would see. I saw angles to him that I didn't know ever existed. Now it made sense with some of his actions leading up to this point. Like a puzzle, everything was coming together in my drugged hazy mind.

There was so much I wanted to say to him. I wanted to hug him and tell him that I loved him no matter what. That this wasn't something to be ashamed of, that this was what made him, him. I wanted him to know that I was proud of him for sharing this, with me. But Instead, I was stuck in this in-between sleep like stupor, forced only to listen.