THE QUEEN

NOTE - My thoughts

Hello everyone , 

So there is nothing important in this page .. It was just I want to share my inner thoughts with some one so I wrote here instead of writing on a paper I wrote here .. SO if you don't want to read than you can skip it and move to next chapter ... 

So as I informed you all that I lost my grandmother few days ago or I say on 4th march and that was my reason for no updates as she died in our home so all the rituals after her death was performed in our house so I was also busy with things .... I can update to distract my mind but there are so many people in my house ( especially my father )  So I chose against it .. I hope you all understand my condition ...

So I wrote it as I am missing my amma ( grandmother ) very much she was a part of our family .. she was living with us from last 12- 13 years .. and we never thought that she will left us all of sudden ... Her death was all of sudden she many times said that she will die and she will not being able to live more but we never thought that this day will also come that to be this soon .. she fall ill many times but we never thought that she will die .. Ohh God I don't know what I am saying I just want to write my inner thought as I can't share with any one as I don't have any best friend  nor I have the bond with my parents so to clear my mind I am writing it here as I know that nobody judge me here .. 

I just miss her a lot when bua ( father's sister ) or tai ji ( father's bhabi ) talk about that she is not going to come back or talk about something related to her absence  in future makes my eyes watery .. I know how I control my emotion to not break down in front of everyone .. I don't know how I stopping my self from crying .. I lost few more people in my family but I never feeling crying for them as I was not close to them but now I am able to understand what they were going through .. It was a incident of few days ago my father scolded me on some silly mistake or I say no mistake of mine  .. and I started  crying in front of every one there were many members of my family and I just started crying ... I went to wash room to control my self but failed I can't able to control my emotions  .. I never cried for this small reason I don't know what happened to me .. when I talked with my  cousin brother I started crying again just I can't able to control my emotion ... Still there are so many things in my mind and in my heart .. I am hoping that we got to use to her absence ..... 

Sorry guys for uploading this but I can't help as just want to ... so sorry ... 

Thank you guys for reading it  ... 

❤❤❤❤

Thank you so much for your concern and love .. and I will take care of myself and my family ... Time will heal every wound and I hope this wound will also get healed very soon  ......