I'm still here - YiZhan

That lonely winter walk without you will be the last

The night kept Xiao Zhan up again, there were many plans he had thought about the times when he and Yibo started out. They had charted their dreams under the night skies, shared deepest secrets and whispers of their hearts desire,  just soaring about how they envisioned their future would evolve innocently before fame took over their lives and that time was never enough in a day

"Zhan - come with me, I want to go skiing with you we can take a flight out together I'll stay over night and we can go to the airport together.We can play on the ice and ski through the winter night." He said looking at Zhan with an enthusiastic smile ...but Zhan he never made it.

Zhan wanted that time with Yibo - they've dreamt about holidays together, looking forward to opportunities to do things together just like any other couples yet excepting that dreams may not always be laid out as how they planned it....and so with the route to publicity comes more restraint and time is not theirs to bargain or control, they've literally given their personal time and dedication to work but that naturally is expected of them and they will have to find the right balance which is almost impossible.

And for Yibo it was a lonely walk at times as well.
"Ge I've moved on to learn how to ski myself, wished we could do it together one day still. I like going out there myself...feels free"

The evening skies turn dark fairly quickly at this time of the year like this. Yibo decided to take up a few lessons himself and was good to ski himself in no time. He wanted to surprise Zhan the next time he ever made it out here again with Xiao Zhan.

"Ge, the night feels cold but I like it out here...just space and me." It was cold lonely night when he finishes his few rounds earlier perfecting his bends on slopes at the green belt. He waited until the sky turned a little dark and went out again on the same route. It was a different feeling out here...just quietness and the snowflakes finding it's way through the wind and he let his body weight drop from the chairlift balancing with his knees and pushing forward to take the slope infront.

Just majestic, the feel of the snow on the ski and the move of just sliding down picking up the speed, letting go riding with the cold wind dancing together side by side as piercing snow flakes rush to touch his cheeks like little cold droplets of ice that melts as it lightly hits his cheeks. His hand holding the ski poles pushing it in downwards digging it into layered snow beneath, pushing forward for momentum. His scarf flowed with the dancing wind around his neck and his soul just feeling the winter night flying freely through the amazing night.

[Ge I've fallen in love with night ski, love it wished you were here] YB he sends his misses again.

He skied through many rounds through the different routes up the gondola and chairlift and down each slope escaping and finding freedom in the cold night, just letting go his deep misses as he dug in deeper on his ski poles to pick up momentum. Somewhere in there, was a desperate cry to want to run and ski as fast as possible catching the cold night wind letting go his misses into the trails that he left behind, every stride he tried erasing his thoughts on Xiao Zhan...yet instead, he tire himself out and took the next bend to stop as he find a corner at the side and drop himself down just sleeping on the cold snow under his ski gears ....starring up. It's so lonely out here yet he likes the stillness, the sense of calmness allows him to set himself free of this crazy misses he had for Xiao Zhan. The icy cold flakes sends a cruel reality of the path they are in. And as Xiao Zhan learns to cope his misses through his diary and work, Yibo takes it out on activities that allows him to vent his heart out. And those were the crazy months of how they kept themselves occupied.

Woken up by the coldness of the snow beneath him seeping into his upper back as his neck scarf wasn't properly wrapped as he continues to lie on the white space starring into night skies, he got up and headed back to the hotel a few minutes later.