Hurt

Chapter eighteen

Sarah grab Rachel's hand and start dancing with her on an old song, 'Girls just wanna have fun'. Rachel really like that song. Richard fold his arms and just smile nicely watching you two enjoy themselves.
"We'll take it from here," Nikita smile taking Rachel. Sarah give her a sweet smile. "I think someone wants to talk to you."
"Seven years of quiet finally becoming something to talk about," she mutter and walk away. Richard give her a smile that stopped next to him watching the two girls dancing.
"She sure is something special, isn't she?" he ask her softly. Sarah giggle and nod her head. "Why didn't you tell me before? You offered me place to stay at your house. Imagine I turn up there and only then meet her. Where was she even?"
"She was at a school camp," Sarah reply and take a deep breath in nervously. "If you stayed after we broke up, I would've told you."
He nod slowly with an odd look.
"So, is that guy from yesterday her dad?" he ask. Sarah role her eyes and shake her head.
"No, I raised her as a single parent. She understands," Sarah reply. "Martin was just some boyfriend I never want to cross roads with again. When he started revealing his true self to me, I already saw red lights. I went on his browsing history and that destroyed me. I chased him away and went to the police. He's not allowed near me or the children."
"Is that why Riley was most of the time unhappy when she visited me? She always seemed so nervous," Richard say. Sarah take a deep breath in and let it out again.
"She was scared, Richard. But everything is fine again," Sarah reply and nervously take a deep breath in. "She's perfect, isn't she?"
"She is," he nod with a smile. "I can't wait to come stay here."
"Yeah?" she ask and turn to him. "Are you going to stay in the city?"
"Yes," he nod. She pull her lips in. Maybe she must tell him now.
"Would you...like to stay with us?" she ask softly. He give her a sweet smile and nod. She look around them and inhale deeply. "We must talk."
He nod in agreement and walk out with her. She take a deep breath and lead him out to a darker corner so that no one will interfere them.
"Richard, I need you to make a promise," she whisper softly. "You'll be angry at me and I'll understand if you never want to talk to me again, but please don't..."
"Sarah," he touch her cheek and give her a sweet smile. "I won't hurt you again. I promise that I'll try to fix as much as I can, okay?"
"Richard, that's not the point."
He raise an eyebrow at her. She take a deep breath in. He has to proof himself before she tells him about Rachel. She look down and then back at him.
"Nevermind, it's useless," she mutter looking down hopelessly. He give a heavy sighed and touch his mouth looking away then back at her. She look at his mouth then at his eyes again.
"What?" he ask with an odd look.
"Nothing. I just...I noticed you have a new facial look," she whisper and fold her arms. "The beard."
"Is my beard bothering you?" he ask her raising an eyebrow.
"No, I actually love it," she smile touching it softly. "It suits you. Why didn't you grow one before?"
"Because I know how it bothers women. I grew this to keep Lilly off," he whisper. She laugh and shake her head taking her hand down. "It worked. I just realised that she's a real big liar and...I don't love her."
"Yet you stayed with her," Sarah whisper giving him an odd look. He nod and look down then back at her.
"I'm really sorry, Sarah Leigh Dixon. I'm very sorry," he whisper.
"Why did you cheat on me? Was I not pretty enough? Didn't you love me?" she ask with a sad look on her face.
"It was a selfish act of weakness," he reply with a heavy sighed fold his arms in front of his chest.
"Bullshit," she role her eyes angrily. "Lust. That's what it was. Do you know what worries me?"
"What?" he ask and give her an odd look. She has truly turned so cold over the years.
"That if I give you a chance to really fix everything, you'll go ahead and hurt us again," she reply and give him a cold vicious look. The look of seven years hurt.
"Sarah, I never spoke to you about this, but you also cheated on me," he mention and glare at her.
"What?" she ask him angrily.
"Yes, Lilly showed me all the photos and all that shit," he mutter.
"Don't you fucking dare try to make me feel bad for your stupid acts!" she shout at him. "Why would I ever even think about cheating on you if I looked like a fat virgin? Men that wants married women is into the fucking looks and I was ugly as shit!"
"I only cheated because you cheated!" He shout back at her getting a lump in his throat. "I took revenge by sleeping with your best friend! She insisted on sleeping with me so that you can catch us in the act! Then I married her after the divorce to fucking rub it in your face!"
Sarah pull her breath in giving him an angry look. She can feel her face turning warm and her heart pounding out of her chest.
"I cheated?" she ask approaching him angrily. "I cheated? You're a fucking asshole! You hear me? I would never cheat! That psychotic bitch you married is fucking liar! How you never saw it I don't know! Gosh, you're such an idiot. And I kind of think its fucked up to come back to us seven years after fucking my best friend."
"Pictures..."
"Fuck your pictures! She probably photo shopped that shit since that was what she was doing around that time! I can't believe you're so stupid to believe that bitch," she shake head angrily in disbelief and walk backwards folding her arms. "I always loved you! But you broke my heart. I'm not a catholic nun, okay? The divorce broke me. I had to raise a child on my own. Yes I did sleep around sometimes and I don't regret it at all. My life was great, Richard. Now you come and fuck it up all over again."
He look down with tears in his eyes. She put her hand on her face and take a deep breath in.
"I cried myself to sleep every night," she cry looking at him that also looked at her. "You have no idea how hard it was for me to accept the fact that you're gone. I didn't stop eating because of Martin, I stopped because of you. You made me unworthy and disgusting. I just wanted to be beautiful. All the pregnancies kind of ruined my body, but I don't regret it at all. I neglected myself and fully committed to you and the children. The saddest is, it felt like I wasn't enough anymore. You were always busy with work, too tired and annoyed. When I wanted to have sex, you didn't, but when you woke me up in the middle of the night to do it, I wasn't allowed not to. I'm so thankful for what you gave me, but this isn't what I want. I want someone that's committed, faithful and trustworthy and that's not you. Besides, I'm too old for fun and games now."
"Sarah, I'm really sorry," he cry and cover his face. She look down and take a deep breath in nodding her head. "I really wish I could fix it."
"Well," she look at him again and bite her lip. "Unfortunately you can't. I'm sorry, Richard."
"Wow," he look down in disbelief. She remain stone cold and just put a piece of her hair behind her ear. "So that's how adults talk. I guess sometimes we get so caught up in trying to be equal that we forget there's a difference between fantasy and reality."
"There is no such thing as fantasy and reality," she reply straightforward. "You either believe a lie or you believe the truth. You can't go in between and believe both. It's either wrong or right. And you chose wrong."
She give him the cold back and walk back into the venue.