Taming the Street Racer ✔️

19 | hold my hand

I call Violet to pick me up while Grayson waits for a friend to come fix his tires. I suggest that he call a tow truck but he quickly shuts that down, not elaborating further on the subject. As I wait for Violet, I notice how on-edge Grayson looks, waiting for this 'friend' to come.

I tell myself that there could be many reasons why Grayson is so reluctant to call for help. I scold myself for jumping to the worst conclusions, then I catch myself. I realize that I shouldn't have to jump to conclusions; Grayson should just be honest with me about what's going on.

Grayson tries to say kiss me goodbye when I leave but I push him away. I hug Gracie then climb into Violet's Mercedes without so much as a wave to him. Violet drops me off without asking the obvious question, just simply chatting with me about all the guys who are trying to get with her.

I go straight upstairs and right to bed, not giving myself any time to think about what happened.

The next day is the team's first game. Being their doting coach, I wake up early and get to the field an hour before to help set up and greet my little athletes as they arrive. Although I try to busy myself preparing snacks and mentally going over the game plan, the nerves fight their way to the surface and I can't concentrate at the tasks at hand.

Anxious thoughts race through my head. One of the kids could trip and die. Or they could lose and all burst into tears, unable to cope with failure. Did I prepare them enough for this?

I nervously rearrange the rows of water bottles for the fifth time, earning a few concerned glances from the parents who came early to help. The referee, a boy no older than fifteen, even shoots me a look. I feel like a mess and definitely look like one.

I'm pretty damn good at messing things up. What if I fuck this up too?

My hands are reaching for the water bottles, aching to rearrange them again, when I hear Grayson's car pull up. A myriad of emotions layer on top of my nerves - surprise, happiness, even more nerves. I wipe my hands on my track shorts and lean against the table, hoping to hide my nerves.

Gracie reaches me first, throwing her insanely cute soccer bag onto the ground and slamming into my legs. I'm almost knocked over. "Hi Coach River."

"Hey Gracie. How are you feeling?" I pull my mouth into a smile and hug her back, trying not to betray my true emotions. She flashes me a huge smile in return and detaches herself from my legs, running off the warm up with the other kids.

"Hey Coach River," Grayson says, mimicking Gracie's earlier greeting. I'm looking at the small group of kids practicing and, as hard as I try, the smile wanes slightly from my face as I think about the game.

He notices and his faces twists in concern. "You feeling okay, Riv?"

I tear my eyes from the group of kids and nod my head. "Yeah, of course. Better than I've ever been."

My overly-cheery voice betrays me and Grayson just looks even more concerned by my false answer. The nerves wash over me again and I turn around to rearrange the water bottles again.

An arm slips gently around my waist and turns me around. "What's on your mind? You can tell me anything. I won't judge." His voice is soft, understanding.

I tear myself away from him, shaking my head in disbelief. "Oh, like you're so open to telling me everything."

Looking at him, I notice how nice he looks in a dark green polo, that matches our team's colors, and khaki shorts. He looks like a really cute, preppy soccer dad and it's hard to be mad at him right now. But I am.

"Riv, I'm sorry about last night." I'm getting kind of tired of all these apologies. "It's just...there are parts of my life that I don't want to expose you to. I'm trying to protect you here. Can you just let me keep you safe?"