Stuck...Lost...Alone

I open the door and scream. Is this just a dream? Call an ambulance!!! There's blood everywhere. I take out my phone and call the ambulance. Mom is lying on the floor dead, in the next room Dora is shot but she's still breathing and dad is dead. I see the note in his hand.
"Dear Reece
I just couldn't take it anymore. The pain in your mother's eyes and the hatred in yours. I'm really sorry. I shot them and now I have taken my life. I hope you forgive me one day. I hope you move on and have a great life." The door open and the police came in with the ambulance behind. They took Dora to hospital, she's in critical condition and might not make it why dad?! How could you do this....to me?! How am I supposed to move on? Why did you leave me alone in this world?!

Someone walks up to me

"Excuse me are you Reece?"

"Yes."

"You will have to find another accomodation for now until we have done our job..do you have anywhere else you could go to?"

"Yes, I think...my boyfriend"
I notice how his face turns sad...is this police officer gay?!!

I take out my phone and call John
"This number does not exist anymore" a lady says... he changed his number without telling me...why? I feel so hurt. Then I decide to go to his place and get some answers...and possibly a place to stay.

Outside of John's house:
I first ring the bell incase he is awake.
But there's no answer. I put in his password but it says error. What's going on? His not answering my calls and his changed his password..is he upset with me for leaving without telling him? But isn't this a bit too drastic?! Some guy that lives in the same apartment complex comes up to me.

"You supposed to that queer's boyfriend" he says with disgust. Is it a question or statement?

"Your 'boyfriend'...I'm not sure whose the boy and whose the girl, moved out. He left after you did this afternoon.... something about leaving forever. He left this letter for you."

I'm so shocked I don't even realize that what he just said sounds like his stalking me. I put the letter in my back pocket
"Oh thanks. Uhm goodnight" I say and walk away
Everyone in my life keeps leaving me. Am I like a disease? What have I ever done to deserve this? Is it coz I'm gay? Why me? First Josh died then dad lost his job, became an alcoholic and an abuser then mom changed and became aggressive and now they all dead and Dora's fighting for her life in hospital and the person I just gave my virginity to has left without a trace and without telling me and I have nowhere to go! What's wrong with me lord!!! Save me!