Haikyuu One-Shots

Older!Kuroo Testurou x Fem!Reader - Fun Idiots

Kuroo felt someone touch his arm as he finished another beer.

He slid the empty bottle over with the others and glanced over to see you.

"(Y/N)!" he exclaimed. "There's my super hot girlfriend!"

You sighed.

Kuroo had invited you out drinking with his old volleyball friends a few weeks ago. And it might have been fine if he'd just meant the Nekoma team. But this particular gathering was for everyone. Nekoma, Fukurodani, Ubagawa, Shinzen, Karasuno, and even Aoba Josai. The teams claimed to have left all their old grudges behind (although you had noticed that no one had invited Shiritorizawa to this party).

You'd never seen so many athletic men acting insane. It had been all you could do to keep up with Kuroo as he weaved his way through the party, stopping to talk to everyone he knew and introducing you as the love of his life.

Aside from Nekoma, since most of them knew you already.

It was embarrassing, but in a cute way. Not that you'd ever admit it to Kuroo. And not that he'd remember after the twenty or so beers he'd already managed to drink down that night.

"Tetsuro honey, it's time to go home," you told him.

"What?! Why?" he whined.

"Honestly, because I'm only responsible for you, but if we stay too much longer I might have to take care of forty of your closest friends and there's no way I'm doing that."

The night had started pleasantly. Meeting some of his old rivals had been great, and there seemed to be plenty of responsible friends (Suga, Daichi, Asahi, Kiyoko, Yachi, Ennoshita, Akaashi, Kenma) to balance out the more eccentric ones (Tanaka, Nishinoya, Bokuto, Kuroo, and Lev). But the longer you'd stayed, the more you'd understood why Kenma had warned you away from this gathering. He had left within the first hour, claiming that if anything happened he would find out tomorrow.

It had started out with story-telling. Seemingly innocent jabs at one another and comparisons of their lives now that they had (mostly) quit volleyball. Tsukishima left after a particular jab from Bokuto about how he'd learned to love volleyball.

Then came the competitions. Arm wrestling, chugging, and jumping (you hadn't really understood that last one) across various teams. Iwaizumi and Kuroo had won the first two respectively. Although there was a disagreement on who had won the jumping, as while Hinata did manage to jump the highest for his body size, Lev easily jumped the highest overall as he now stood at almost 6 and a half feet tall.

The two had tried to start a fight which ended disastrously. Lev had broken a bottle and promptly fainted at the sight of his own blood, and Hinata confined himself to the bathroom to try to ease his upset stomach, a trait he'd carried into adulthood.

Oikawa had tried to start a dance competition to impress the women that were there, but no one was willing to take his bait. Although you had a sneaking suspicion that Kageyama had nearly taken him up on it just to prove himself. Thankfully someone (Asahi) had held him back.

The next few hours had been a flurry of confusion. You had caught up with a few of the team managers to see what they were up to now. They were all great from what you could tell between them yelling at various members of their respective teams to stop doing dangerous things.

Nishinoya jumping down from the second-floor banister to keep Oikawa from flirting with Kiyoko was undoubtedly the highlight of the night.

But now it was closing in on 3 am and you were exhausted.

Kuroo leaned down close to you. "But any minute now, Bokuto is going to try to fly off the roof!"

"Bokuto isn't here," you gently reminded him. "Akaashi took him home over an hour ago."

"Wha--? But who have I been talking to?!"

"A fern that kind of looks like him."

Kuroo turned around and squinted at the dark shape next to him. It was pointy, like his owlish friend. But maybe it was a plant. That would explain why he'd been so quiet for the past twenty minutes.

"Oh," he said finally. "But one more drink. Daichi owes me for beating him at arm wrestling!"

"Daichi is passed out in the corner."

Kuroo turned around so fast he nearly fell off his chair. But it was true, Daichi was fast asleep in the corner. Two of his old teammates (Nishinoya and Tanaka) were drawing on his face. The second he caught sight of them, Sugawara raced over and shooed them away.


"But--"

"Home. Now," you repeated. "And help me grab Lev, Kenma is waiting for him outside." Yachi had cleaned and dressed his wound while he was passed out. He'd woken up and partied hard for a few more hours, but Kenma was the only one that lived close to him.

"Fine, I'm coming," the black-haired man groaned as he got up.

You helped him carry a now sleeping Lev outside to Kenma's car. It took some work, but you finally got the tall man situated in the backseat. You shut the door and walked around to Kenma's side.

"Thanks for coming back," you told him.

Kenma smiled slightly. "It's the least I can do since you take care of Kuroo for me now."

"Kenma!" Kuroo suddenly exclaimed, coming over to the window too. "You were the best setter I ever had, I just want you to know that!"

"I know."

"No, but I need you to know that, Kenma." He leaned forward, practically putting his face into the car. "Like, really know that."

Kenma quickly rolled up the window.

"See you for dinner next week!" you called as you pulled Kuroo away from the car. He honked in response. You watched him drive off and smiled.

"All right, Kuroo. Are you ready....what did you do?"

Kuroo was lying on his side on the concrete.

"(Y/N)," he whined as he looked up at you. "I scraped my knee falling for you."

"Come on," you said as you hauled him to his feet. "Let's see if Yachi has any more band-aids."





"You said you fell for me," you told Kuroo when he asked about his knee the next morning.

"Uh-huh. And what about yours?"

"You tripped me when we got back to the apartment last night. So, I guess you could say--"

He smirked. "Aww, did you fall for me too, kitten? I knew it was only a matter of time."

"Shut up," you said as you gave him a playful shove. He quickly wrapped his arms around you and pecked your forehead.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Tetsu. Even if you and all of your friends are idiots."

"But we're fun idiots," he pointed out.

And honestly, you couldn't argue with that.