39. Forever Yours

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~Third Person's POV

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~Third Person's POV

"Oh Almighty!"

She shaped her trembling icy cold hands into a half moon once again while her eyes shimmered with uncountable pearls of helplessness.

"I am at the stage where I am completely helpless, vulnerable and alone. My Veer is battling between life and death and all I can do is weep and beg in front of you to bless him with a new life. Why is it that always the one who loves me unconditionally, is ready to leave me in this state of agony for the rest of my life? First you snatched the shelter of the man whom I loved the most and left me alone, stranded and defeated in this desert of hopelessness. The man who was my only support, mentor and my idol, my Baba! Just when I needed him the most, you took him away from me and left me alone to fight my battles on my own. Then you snatched away the love of my sister from me, my Iman ! The girl who used to love me, respect me, and follow me like a shadow in every aspect of her life. You snatched her love away from me by filling all sorts of hatred, jealousy and resentment in her heart for me. Then after five painful years of desperation, he returned! Shahveer! The man whom I had loved since childhood and still continued to love him even behind this fake curtain of hatred throughout five years. The man who confessed that he loved me and you know how terribly my heart broke that night when I realized that this was indeed the answer of my prayers, that I have been making since forever, which was given at the very wrong timings! How I wish I had given him a last chance to explain and justify his wrongdoings, but I judged him on the basis of his deeds. Who the hell was I to judge when its YOU Who is responsible to Judge! Why didn't you stop me from being so cruel to him? If it was his fault then it was mine too! I shouldn't have exposed the beauty in front of him, which you have blessed me with. I shouldn't have acted so much carefree, so much inviting and so much alluring that night. I made him lose his control that night for if I had acted reserve and mature in front of him, it would have had never happened! It wasn't just his fault. It was mine too and I know that you are punishing me because of it! But tonight, tonight I am begging you to forgive my sins which have lead me to this state of agony. I beg you to grant me the Ajr of any of my good deeds in this dunya, in the form of Shahveer's life."

She hiccupped between her merciless sobs as her voice started to get hoarse with pain and continuous hours of crying.

"Take my life and grant him one!"

She cried with desperation and slowly bowed down into Sujood as she continued to murmur the same words again and again while the prayer mat started to get wet with her unstoppable tears.

"I love him Ya Allah! For the sake of this unconditional and unmatchable love which is burning in my heart like an inextinguishable flame which is adamant to destroy each and every bit of my soul. He is the most important fragment of my soul and if you take him away from me, my life would start cursing me, forcing me to end it! I have realized my mistake and I am ready for all sorts of punishments but not in the form of losing him. You are famous for Your Mercy! Pour some of it on me tonight Ya Rab-ul-Alameen ! Don't give me a burden which I am not capable of tolerating. Both of us are suffering in the name of this love. Why is there only separation written in our destiny since childhood? If You were so determined to always separate us, then why did You sow the seeds of infinite love in our hearts which keeps on rekindling despite of continuous strong blows of disastrous winds? The fire which was never meant to extinguish at all, is slowly and gradually burning my skin my Almighty! My eyes are stinging and it is becoming difficult to breath anymore. The guilt of torturing him is driving me insane. The guilt of watching him in this vulnerable state, just because of me, is enough to cut my soul and my existence with a sharp axe slowly and painfully. I won't be able to live peacefully with this guilt oh Lord! Your Hooriyah is not capable of bearing so much pain! Why did you send him back in my life when you wanted to repeat the same process of separation once again?"

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