Leather & Lace- THE SPECTER SERIES [book five]

Chapter NINETEEN

Lacey Paxton

Its the middle of the night by the time you crawl out from behind the bathroom door, the you eyes quickly adjusting to the soft moonlight that filters through the shutters on the bathroom window, after sitting in pitch darkness, silently, stuffed into the cramped crawl space with Ace's backpack balanced on your knees, for hours..

You spent most of those minutes ruminating on how much of a coward you are, to have hidden the way you did.. Just like you had the night of the massacre.. And just like you had hidden yourself away from the world after your abduction..

You feel weak..

Worthless..

Yet, something else stirs inside you.. Something bitter, and laced with rage.. Something that has always been there, buried deep beneath weighty layers of repression, a bitten tongue and polite smiles..

You are so sick and tired of being terrified.. Fear ruling your actions and chaotic thoughts.. The same fear that had kept you waiting in that crawl space until you were absolutely certain the safehouse would be empty, now twists into something darker, and hate filled..

You are done.. Done being treated as some kind of doormat to the whims of wicked men..

You peek out into the studio apartment, seeing the absolute mess created by the people who had taken Ace.. You had pressed your ear to the wall, listening while they beat him, turning over the apartment looking for you, before dragging him away..

Oh god.. Poor Ace..

You swallow hard, seeing his blood smeared across the white tiles in the centre of the room, trying not to picture his suffering..

You can't stand the thought of what those Marines might be doing to him.. You take a shaking step out into the living area, looking around you see Ace's laptop, smashed to little pieces on the kitchen floor, so contacting anyone is off the table...

You are on your own..

"Oh, god.. What am I supposed to do now, Ace?.." You lift the little coloured puzzle cube, talking to it as though Ace himself could answer you from within..

Of course he can't.. Because he sacrificed himself for you..

You suddenly feel irrationally angry at him.. Why would he do that?..

You didn't asked him to come here..

You never asked him to risk his life for you..

And still.. He has become another casualty of your terrible decisions.. More collateral damage on your naive path to self discovery, to become the braver version of yourself you had set out to become..

Which now, seems nothing short of lunacy..

You drop the backpack to the floor with a thud, kneeling down to unzip the flaps and dig around inside.. Bushing aside a water bottle, a flashlight, several ration portions and the first aid kit until you find your worn jeans at the bottom.. You quickly dress in the dark, bloodstained denim, pulling Devi's shirt back on and tying the laces of your sneakers..

Next, you find your silk scarf in one of the front pockets, covering your head, tucking it over your mouth to conceal your lower features..

You don't exactly know where you are going, but you have this feverish need to get the heck out of this place before anybody comes back..

You tuck the puzzle cube in your bra, fitting it snugly between your full breasts before picking up the pack and slinging it over your shoulder with a huff..