Unconditionally Conditioned |

•☯︎︎𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝟸𝟶☯︎︎•

Jason was met with a warm embrace from the younger girl that had opened the door.
"I missed you" Alice muttered, Jason's sweatshirt muffling her voice.
Jason's cheeks grew red at her remark, smiling but soon concealing it when she broke away from the hug, a frown tugged at his lips him as he felt her pull back.
She invited him inside and did their usual, she fixed him a drink of water and made them each a snack, it would normally be a meal but the young girl hated to admit she was quite tired from her trip.
"C-can we talk about last night?" Alice spoke, Jason was dreading the thought of her bringing it up, although it wasn't bad bad, it was still bad in a sense.
Jason sighed, "look I-" "I don't know if you were drunk or not, I don't know if you like me or not but I-I mean I didn't hate it but I don't know I guess I uh..." she stopped, clearly flustered and slightly lost for words, Jason could tell she was struggling to string a sentence at this point.
"I'm sorry" was all that Jason was able to get out. He lowered his head slightly, guilt and shame started to pool in his chest. He couldn't even look at her, he stayed, fixated on his hands that rested on his thighs, the sheer layer of sweat coated his palms out of pure anxiety. He hated himself for what he did. He spent most of the day zoned out and caught up in thought, constantly scolding himself and reliving the gruelling night prior to now.
"Jason?" Alice called, Jason soon breaking away from his straining gaze at his hands, now staring straight at the girl.
A weak smile tugged at his lips he didn't know what was behind it, worry, anxiety or was it just a small way of apologising without actually saying it.
They decided to move past last night, well, Alice did anyway, Jason was too guilt tripped by his own actions to even consider thinking of other things.
Alice excused herself to use the bathroom, Jason took the opportunity to open up his phone and finally answer the Irish man that had been texting him for hours on end about last night.

27 new messages
18 missed calls

Me
Séan, I'm okay.
I'm with Alice now
But I'm okay.
So please don't worry...
I know that doesn't help much
And I know you probably won't
Believe me but I'm fine.
:]

Jason sighed and soon his phone returned back to his pocked as he heard Alice finishing up in the bathroom.
"Hey, I just thought about something" Alice began.
"My trash was full of Milos food whilst I was away, did I forget to take the trash out or?" She asked, clearly puzzled.
Jason laughed slightly.
"No, that was me. I had a few late nights and I kept thinking I hadn't fed Milo even thought he wasn't here." He said, the laugh more audible as he scratched the back of his head.
Alice shook her head and laughed at the man before returning to her usual seat.

They stayed that way for a while just sitting there, a comfortable yet tense silence filled the room.
It didn't take long before Alice broke the silence.
"Hey, do you want to go for a walk?" She asked, not really hopping for an answer, she couldn't care regardless of what Jason said whether it was yes or no, she just needed to get rid of the silence before she went insane.
She knew that time was passing and soon the day flooded into the later evening and the orange and amber rays from the setting sun soon flooded through the half opened window.
Jason agreed and they got ready for the walk, Alice being reminded to take her meds before going.
Jason wasn't sure about this walk in all honesty.
Alice hadn't been back to the forest in a while, not after her episode.
Jason seemed more nervous than Alice did but his nerves soon faded when he was met with Alice's warm and comforting smile that was given to him before they left the house.
They made small talk on their way, talking about Alice's trip what she did and what was said, it lead them onto what Alice's mom had brought up that day.
"Dbs?" Jason questioned.
"Y-yeah I didn't really listen to it to be honest, I'm not that interested..." Alice said, her tone quieting after each word.
"You should be more open minded, Alice. It's the 21st century, who knows what medicine is capable of." Jason said, offering her an encouraging smile.
"Maybe we could look into it tomorrow?" Jason added, seeing that Alice wasn't up for talking about it. She smiled at his words, she preferred that...
After a few minutes or walking, Milo had decided that he wanted a break and what Milo wants, Milo gets.
Alice on the other hand, could just about keep still. Clearly fighting with herself as the familiarity of her surroundings became more clear, her eyes danced around the environment, glancing over at the tree she had once's crumbled beneath then at the path that she had seen Jason run down to get her. Jason, clearly seeing this came to her side and took her twitching hands in his, her gaze soon softened as it met his, as if she had been released from whatever was possessing her.
"Hey, you okay?" Jason asked, his tone sweet yet cautious. Alice nodded, not being able to break eye contact.
"I-I just, this is, I don't know." Alice admitted, laughing slightly at her failed attempt at forming a sentence. Jason joined her in laughing, pulling her into his side as they began walking further down the path. It wasn't long until Alice perked up and began picking up the pace, passing Jason as she made her way over to a small opening, Milo panting as he followed suit. She took a sharp left into the opening, calling out to Jason to "shift his ass" he chuckled as he jogged over to the young girl, who was now sitting on an embankment that overlooked a small pond that was overrun and consumed with various moss and Algae.
Alice, entranced in the sunset, didn't pay any notice to the man, who slowly sat to join the girl as she watched the colours of the sky dance as if she were watching a delicate yet moving performance, a ballet if you will. Jason couldn't not look at the girl, her eyes wide as she gazed up at the sky in pure awe. The way her eyes seemed as though they were gleaming as the now darker shades of red and orange rays mixed with her eyes. And the way the now cooler air caused a light red to brush her nose and cheeks, her breathe becoming more noticeable as the cool air turned it to a light mist. He truly could admit to nothing being more beautiful than the girl that sat before him.
The girl glanced back at Jason, as if to see if he was seeing what she was seeing, truly mesmerised by the scenery in front of her. Upon the realising that he was actually looking at her, her cheeks grew a darker red than they previously were.
"What?" She asked, laughing with slight embarrassment.
They were sat a lot closer than they were earlier, as if by pure accident yet in that moment, it didn't matter to Alice, In that moment, it was just her and Jason against the painted sky that shone beautifully through the various trees and thinned bushes that surrounded them it was as if they were encased in a renaissance painting.
In that moment, everything felt right.
In that moment, all that went on in the past 24 hours or so seemed to be melting away for Jason, as if the guilt and shame he felt had been lifted off of his shoulders, replaced by admiration and a butterfly sensation in his stomach, there was nothing in this moment that he wanted to change.
Alice, glancing back and forth between his pale grey eyes grew more red as she realised how she truly felt in this moment.
No matter where life took her, through the dark twisted paths of her deepest and most vulnerable moments, it was him.
The day she was found, crumbled, cold and alone under a tree, Jason came, Jason, not a glimpse of fear on his face, he saved her, he held her when she couldn't hold herself, he loved her when she couldn't look at herself in the mirror without being repulsed by her own image, Jason was there, throughout the darkest days and even in the better days, it was him.
As the realisation sunk in they were even closer than before, her hands were now encased in his and a small smile tugged at his lips, his gaze every so often flickering between her eyes and her pale lips that were now pulled into a small smile. For the first time in her life, Alice wanted this, and in some ways, she needed it...
The space between them soon became smaller as Jason brushed his lips against hers, Alice leaning in ever so slightly to finally have him to herself.
As their lips met, it felt like fireworks, everything in that moment was as it should be, Alice, who had never been kissed before, was a bundle of nerves and adrenaline as the man deepened the kiss, her stomach twisting with butterflies and pure ecstasy.
She smiled into the kiss, more than she realised, could she finally say she was ready...

Could she finally say she was ready to get help, if it meant that he was there, if it meant that he would be by her side, just like he always was.

In that moment Alice could finally say that
She was ready to try again.