Unconditionally Conditioned |

•☯︎︎𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝟷𝟽☯︎︎•

Jason wasted the day away confiding in his thoughts both good and bad.
"What if I relapse"
"It's fine because I've grown from then"
"What if you can't handle it"
"What would Séan say"
"Should I tell Alice"
"Fuck... what would Alice think"
All day long, Jason couldn't help himself but think of the endless possibilities as to how tonight may go.
It was 4:30, two hours until he was scheduled to meet everybody. Placing down Milo's food, his attention was drawn to the sudden vibration of his phone on his kitchen counter.

Séan
Hey, you sure you want
To go tonight?

                                                                                   Me
Yeah ofc, why wouldn't I be?

Séan
I just don't want you
To be in a place where
You could relapse.

Me
Don't worry, soft drinks only :)

Séan
Fine! But I'm keeping
An eye on you tonight
Okay?
I don't want you to go down
That route again...

Not knowing how to respond, Jason placed his phone back on the counter and decided to take a shower. Alice wouldn't mind
He thought to himself as he closed the bathroom door behind him. He never truly appreciated the pros of having someone with ocd around him. The bathroom was organised beyond anything you'd every expect.
She had two separate shelves in the shower, colour coded of course, the top shelf had shampoos and conditioners and a few body washes and the second shelf had razors, loofas and exfoliating gloves.
He chuckled to himself, he loved showering at Alice's, females houses in general because they always have something for everything, body wash, face wash, foot wash, you name it, a female will without a doubt have it. Jason laughed at the thought of his shower, one bottle of two in one shampoo and conditioner and a wash cloth.
Letting the now warm water wash over him, he reminisced on, well, Alice.
He remembers the day he first moved in, he had just been cleared from rehab and Alice's mum was on her way to Alice's apartment, she made her way passed him with a quick smile and left soon after. He remembered actually meeting Alice for the first time, he could tell by the way she talked and her body language as a whole that she wasn't like other people. Everytime they'd see eachother her cheeks always had a tint of pink to it, he figured after a while that it was permanent. His mind switched to the day she had her episode, he was so scared yet confused, he'd never experienced anything like it before but he knew he couldn't show it.
Everything that has happened in the past few months had flashed through his mind as the water dripped down his face, his forearms stern on the wall as he pressed his head on the same, steamed marble wall.
After what felt like a lifetime, Jason finally pried himself out of his thought, and the shower.
Wrapping himself in a towel, he made his way back to the kitchen, 5:40.
"Shit" scolding himself of his lateness he quickly got changed back into his dirty clothes and ran to his room to get some cleaner and more presentable clothes on.
After doing so he got in his car and started driving to the bar which was about 20 minutes away.

After what felt like forever, Jason finally made it to the bar, riddled with anxiety, he adjusted his front mirror to himself so that he could asses how he looked.
"Fuck Jason smile a little" he said, sarcasm shining through more than ever.
He wiped the sweat off of his brow and readjusted the mirror back to it's original spot before stepping out of the car.
He sighed into the cool dark street that smelt of all aspects of the town, sex, drugs, alcohol and smoke.
His face plastered in regret for coming.